Caged
by Fuu43
Summary: Chapter 6 up! Set in the past, Kaoru finds herself trapped in a lifetime of servitude and magical manipulations. KK, with slight AM, SM
1. Trapped

ATTENTION: First and foremost, I have to explain that lack of any sort of updates etc… My beloved computer has been officially out of my hands for over three months now…and that makes writing/updating/everything VERY difficult. I will hopefully have it soon…although now I guess it has another problem. Please bear with me and know that I am still very dedicated to writing!

Author's Note- Okay, I just needed a little break from Things Left Unsaid…so hopefully this shorter story will do that job, and I'll be ready to go back to the TLU. (I'll be working on both simultaneously…) I've had this story in my head for awhile- and it will probably…hopefully… be four or five chapters…hopefully…And it is designed to be a great stress reliever, which means, I wont be fretting about how 'perfect' it needs to be...

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Rating- R/M- I'm sort of enjoying this, hopefully you will too.

Disclaimer- I don't own it… bla bla bla….don't sue me…bla bla bla...

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Caged

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Chapter 1

Trapped

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Kaoru pulled the dark cloak closer to her frame and walked briskly down the hall. Ignoring the bite in the air, she kept her eyes forward and downcast. It was late winter, and she knew that if she were to look outside a soft blanket of snow would be covering the plants and trees. Staring long enough, a winter bird might possibly land on a nearby shrub or windowsill. However, she didn't have time today to sit and enjoy the view or usually absent wildlife. She was running late, again, and Lady Yumi would have her head if she were much later. Turning a corner that led into the sleeping quarters of the fortress, Kaoru resisted the urge to break out into a run. She wasn't sure how long it had been since she had truly run.

Entering the last leg of her journey, she pulled tighter on her hood, making sure that her hair was covered. If too much was out of place, her maids would go into a tizzy. It was her own fault she was rushing, she supposed. She'd gone on a long walk through some of the deeper areas of her home, and had gotten distracted. Even though she was often ignored by those around her, it wasn't very frequently that she was able to slip away for some private time. Well, she amended that…semi-private time. The sharp clipping of feet following her rang in her ears, and she felt her gait stumble slightly. He didn't say anything, and she understood now more than ever that things could be said without words. Kaoru didn't expect her brother to do something but simply guard her. After all, it was what he could do.

She paused outside her closed doorway, waiting just long enough for her older sibling to position himself outside her door. He wasn't allowed inside.

"Be quick, or you'll be late."

Aoshi's calm voice sounded in her ears, and she absorbed the sound. It had been over a month since the last time she'd heard him speak.

Knowing that casting him a smile would go unnoticed by him but no one else, she snapped her fingers once, the noise soft. He nodded his head in assent, his eyes staring forward and unmoving. At least they could communicate…sort of. Her hand fiddled at her throat before she forced it down.

She opened the door and strode into a mess of maids fluttering about. The room was warm from the multiple women moving, the heavy drapes blocking the balcony, and a large fire roaring in the corner. Immediately one of the women shut the door behind her, closing off her view of Aoshi. Her muscles unconsciously tensed as her only ally was temporarily unavailable. Kaoru took a deep breath. He would still be there when she came out, the situation was really better then it could have been. Right? She resisted the urge to kick and fight, knowing that her frustration would get her nowhere.

Instead, Kaoru kept her eyes averted and found her cape unfastened and pulled from her shoulders. The women worked seamlessly, silent and jerky as they eliminated her simple day clothes until she was down to a plain black shift. Did other women wear dark undergarments like her? For some reason she had always pictured them as cream or white, but she'd never seen another woman so undressed. Her memories from before were too blurred to decipher such a small aspect. Candles and lanterns lit the room, and even though it was before noon outside, the dank atmosphere made it feel much later. She raised her arms obediently as a black dress was slipped over her head, and didn't need to look down at it to picture it. She wore the same dress every first day of a new fortnight. It was thick, heavy, with long sleeves and a high collar that made her throat feel pinched. It dragged slightly on the ground, even with her shoes on, and when she walked it made a slight swishing noise. It was hideous, ugly, and in the summer made her positively miserable.

Kaoru pulled on the matching gloves, knowing that time really was going much too quickly. She was supposed to be there at noon, and she couldn't be delayed. Fidgeting, she attempted to stay still as the last bit of her outfit was pinned to her head. The substantial veil was dense, covering her front and back to nearly the waist. Kaoru couldn't see anything through the almost solid design, and no one would be able to make out her features. That was the purpose of it after all. She wondered if anyone in court had any idea what she truly looked like. Kaoru rolled her eyes, _like they actually cared._

The last of the servants stepped away as it was secured, the old woman's hands wiping at the apron of her dress. She had seen the other women do the same thing. After all, who wanted to touch her? Who in their right mind would even want to be near her? It was the reason why her maids were rotated so much, being around someone like her had to be damaging to one's health.

Walking past them in a dismissive fashion, she paused as one opened the door. Cocking her head slightly to the side, she stepped out into the cool hallway and waited for Aoshi's signal. Kaoru did her best to follow the procedure for his sake. Now more than ever, he was a stickler for her safety. She would do what she could do put his mind at ease. He stepped away from the wall, and she started down the hall, knowing that he'd be following only a few steps behind.

Every stride Kaoru took she could sense her stomach begin to twist and bunch. The bile in the back of her throat was sickly bitter against her tongue. Wanting to take another hallway, she let out a deep breath and clenched her hands in her skirt. Aoshi was probably aware of the sudden emotional upheaval she was experiencing, but he would be unable to comfort her in any way. It was the only way for them to be near each other, the only way the good Lady Yumi would permit it. Siblings that were strangers.

She snapped her fingers again, the noise an unexpected signal between them. One of the only ways for the two of them to convey their thoughts, or a gesture of understanding that no one knew, not even Lady Yumi. He made no indication that he had heard, but she knew that he wouldn't. The two of them passed through the end of the hallway, her feet moving into a room full of people. She felt Aoshi's presence behind her shift, his body moving into a more discreet location. Although no one could see her beneath the fabric, she kept her head up despite her discomfort, walking down the center of the room towards the other end. She wouldn't allow herself to show the dread they genuinely wanted to see.

The room was filled with the aroma of strong incense, the scent filling her lungs instantly with lead like air. A cough tried to crawl its way out of her throat. The windows were open here, and large shafts of sunlight blaringly cut through the otherwise unending shadows. She wished there was a breeze to bring in some cool fresh air. The winter air was always crisp and clean. Taking another short puff of air, she was suddenly rather surprised to smell ginger. They rarely if ever used ginger incense and when they did, it rarely was this… light. Her senses didn't feel nearly as weighed down, and she hoped they would use it again.

Knowing that Lady Yumi lay at the other end of the hall did nothing to quell her trembling body, but warped the feelings of nervousness to something similar to hate. Kaoru had never thought herself to be a person who could experience such revulsion toward another human being. But Lady Yumi had changed all that, and now Kaoru could barely recognize herself.

She couldn't see the richly dressed woman, nor the other equally well dressed people surrounding her- but she could hear them just fine.

"Is that really her? I heard she only eats meat raw."

The voice was of a woman to her left, high pitched and loud enough to carry. She sounded disgusted.

"Is what they say true? Did they find her bathing in blood?"

It was another woman, her voice farther away and fearful.

"There, there Victoria, I'll keep you safe."

Kaoru rolled her eyes and tried to push away the feelings of despair that the voices caused. Like she was going to jump on that women and do something violent. She was different, yes…but she wasn't a freak…

"It's too bad the good Lady Yumi has to keep her around. Although, I suppose the benefits outweigh the disadvantages. At least Lady Yumi knows how to control such a thing."

The sentences pierced especially hard and she bit at her lip as her chest grew tighter. The rough fabric of her dress itched at her collarbone and arms increasingly. She didn't know why the slander still upset her; she'd heard similar things said for much of her life. It wasn't as if they could possibly understand her, and Lady Yumi of course did nothing but encourage their hateful words. The spiteful witch used her and her brother…and everyone else she could sink her nails into.

She neared the throne like chair that her tormentor always occupied, and tilted her head subtly. It was the only dignity she had left that she wouldn't kneel down like an enamored wretch. Yumi often let her know that she wasn't pleased that Kaoru wouldn't get down on a knee, but she hadn't tried to force Kaoru. Yet. Hearing the rustle of shifting fabric, she didn't start at the sudden strong hand on her shoulder. The blood red nails pierced sharply into her flesh through the dress, and Kaoru allowed Yumi to turn her towards the rest of the hall. She wanted this stupid ceremony over with, but Yumi liked to drag it out.

"My kind people welcome, and a special welcome to those visiting."

Her voice was like silk, seductive and cool. Kaoru could practically see Yumi's well practiced smile in her mind, standing next to the woman wearing head to toe black, looking beautiful in a silk well-cut gown of a bright color.

"Just give me moment, and we will have this period's prediction. We are very fortunate to have the Lady of Loss with us. Do not worry, she can do nothing but see."

She spoke with rehearsed ease and beauty, her words sounding pleasing to all who didn't know the venom they usually carried. The woman was so good with her words that even Kaoru and her brother had been tricked at one time. Yumi's hands traveled with practiced simplicity beneath the veil up to Kaoru's neck. The dark magical marks etched in her skin were deep, intricate, and massive- they'd been there for years. She shuddered briefly at the woman's touch, the fear it still evoked both mental and physical. Yumi moved them in a slight pattern, the fingers smooth from expensive lotions and herbs- and Kaoru felt sickly sweet magic move from the woman's hands into her body. It caused her stomach to roll and a heavy sweat to break out on her brow. A familiar clinking noise echoed in her mind, and she felt as if a noose had been removed from her neck. It was wonderful, and for a brief moment she forgot that in a less than ten minutes she would once again be unable to even whisper.

"Just another moment my patient friends."

Kaoru ignored her voice.

Yumi's hands retreated from their spot on her neck, and traveled up to Kaoru's temples. This was the worst part. It hadn't been so bad before, when there hadn't been any sort of spell and her own magic could work freely. Now, with this intricate enchantment in place, her magic was forced to mash days of energy into minutes. It was agonizing, it was debilitating, and without the release- she would die. The _good_ Lady Yumi used that against her, against her brother.

Like always, there was no responding feeling to the spell being lifted, just a sudden onslaught of images that always seemed to take her by surprise. Her eyes shut automatically, and she was unaware of her physical self for several minutes. Instead, Kaoru tried to concentrate on what was being filtered through her, hoping that it would be over soon. When she came back to her physical senses, she was hunched over her middle protectively, her loud gasps echoing through the strangely quiet room. Her hands were tightened into balls against her stomach, the muscles in her shoulders tensed repeatedly with spasms. She silenced her soft whimpers, knowing that Aoshi could only take so much of her suffering.

Kaoru carefully straightened herself and attempted to regain her composure. Who knew how many bruises she would find later, how rigidly her body had wound itself. The court had hushed after the second magical spell had been shifted, they usually did. They fed on it- her abrupt discomfort, pain, and the words she would speak. These were all things they did not want to miss. Yumi's hand returned to her shoulder, a reminder that she wasn't done yet. She knew she wasn't finished, knew that she would never be done. Not until Yumi let her go…not until she died.

Her mouth opened, and her throat was dry and sore. She struggled for a moment to swallow. The few minutes every fortnight were barely enough to keep her voice in working order.

"Thirteen in a flood," she didn't even recognize the monotone scratchy noise that was her own, "Three in a farming accident. Two by stabbing, and four from magic."

Her mouth shut with an audible click, her jaw sore from little use and the magic Yumi had used. Yumi brought her hands back up to Kaoru's temple, and she could feel a slight pressure as her magic was once more restrained. The headache would only grow with time, until she was summoned again.

The woman touched the still trembling girl's neck once again, and Kaoru resisted the urge to scream. She wanted to shout, to cry, to speak, to say something, anything that wasn't a prediction of death. Instead Kaoru felt her ability to speak slide away from her, taken away by the woman whose own voice spoke and spoke and said nothing at all. She couldn't see Yumi, but she could feel the syrupy smile turned towards her.

Yumi stepped away, and Kaoru knew it was her cue to leave. Her first steps were hesitant, the echoes of the things she had just seen weighing heavily on her mind. With them all forced to be so close together, the intensity was much greater than it should have been. She'd need to rest for the remaining hours of the day and for much of tomorrow. Not that anyone in the court was concerned with her. She still felt their eyes on her, the sycophants waiting to hear Yumi's regretful words that so many would meet their untimely end- The congratulations that Lady Yumi would receive afterward for having such a useful person in her service. Kaoru just wanted to be out of there, just wanted to be walking with Aoshi a few steps behind her. It was a weak wish, a wish that held little hope but for a simple reprieve. She wanted it badly though, to just be away from them. They wouldn't understand, couldn't understand the magic that flowed through so many peoples' veins.

Yumi's voice rang out as she made her exit, expressing her deep remorse that so many would perish. _Yeah, right_. Just as quickly Yumi moved on, the events for the fair celebration filling the hall with excited whispers and words. They didn't heed the words that Kaoru had spoken; they thought no more of them as easily as they dismissed her. She was just a carnival act, a freak shown, the things she said where unavoidable truths that were necessary. Yumi never thought to correct them.

Still weak, she was almost out of the door when her foot caught the hem of her gown. She pitched forward; mortified that she would fall in front of so many individuals that despised her. Preparing for the worst, she flinched when instead of hard marble she felt warm arms around her. Trying to gain her bearings, she without delay pried herself out of the stranger's arms. She had realized the moment she'd been caught that it hadn't been Aoshi. He was the only one she would have thought would have bothered to help her, but his frame was much larger than the one holding her. Not quite certain how to react, she stayed still for a moment, wondering if they would berate her for her stupidity or ignore her completely.

"Are you alright, my lady?"

The words were spoken softly in her ear and said with genuine concern. She jumped at the unexpected sentence. The deep male voice wafted through the thick clothing she wore, winding its way across her body and soul. Something deep within her cried out in satisfaction at his voice, his arms, his form being so near her own. Kaoru couldn't breathe, her limbs felt shaky and weak. She wanted to curl up in his embrace and rest. It felt as if she could see into his very heart if she tried; that he was able to look into her. Like stepping stones connecting to banks of a river or stream, she sensed a connection wavering between the two of them. Stepping farther away from him, she forced the urges away. This sort of reaction was not allowed. He had more than likely touched her without thinking; he was probably just now realizing the mistake he had made.

A head came unusually close to hers, and even through the thickness of her veil she could make out violet eyes tinged with amber. They stared through the fabric and into her face, into her very spirit. Covered head to toe, she felt naked beneath his piercing stare. She took a hesitant step back so his eyes were once again a mystery to her. His gaze saw too much of her. The emotions that the man awakened within her were raw and ancient.

She nodded her head in assent, desiring to be both close and far from him. Kaoru had gone years under Yumi's care, and this was the first time anyone besides her own blood had asked such a sincere question; the first time a person besides her brother had touched her willingly. It… unnerved her and she needed time to gather her rampant thoughts.

"Are you quite sure? You took quite the tumble."

She shook her head again, willing him to be silent. He had to stop. His voice was like hot bath water soothing and surrounding her. Something about the way he spoke was intimately personal. She couldn't take kindness from a stranger. It brought back memories and feelings that were better off long dead; and awakened things that she couldn't afford to feel. Kaoru felt a hand land on top of her shoulder, and instantly recognized the weight and shape of it. Leaning slightly into the person directly behind her, she smiled thinly. Aoshi.

"Excuse us sir."

His voice was low and contained a hard edge to it. She had noticed him using the same tone among the nobles and upper class when he was forced or obligated to speak. However, it didn't contain the underlying hatred that she could often detect. Feeling a small amount pressure on her shoulder, Kaoru took sure steps forward, knowing that Aoshi would take good care of her. They passed by the man quickly, and Kaoru resisted the silly urge to look back towards him. It wasn't as if she would even be able to see him. Her heart twisted a bit as they left him, almost seeming to protest her movements. She pushed away the odd feelings and concentrated on moving forward.

As she exited the room and stepped into one of the many hallways, she sensed a mind brush calmingly against her own. The touch was gentle, soothing, and held an underlying strength. It was an experience she hadn't had happen since her brother had had a portion of his own magic sealed. She shuddered at the subtle touch. It melted the tight muscles throughout her body, and made the hairs on her arms and neck stand up. Even if she had wanted to block such a link, she was magically unable to do so anymore.

Connecting in such a way was beyond personal, and the very action was expressly forbidden at Yumi's court. So who? Who had felt comfortable enough to do such a thing? Violet eyes flashed through her mind, along with a strong voice, and she clamped down on the growing fear in her chest. Such intimate magic rarely occurred between strangers, and although she didn't feel violated…she felt as if she should feel abused. Had a spell been cast on her that she was unaware of? Her mind conjured up image after image of horrible situations, and Kaoru bit her lip in aggravation.

It was more than likely her imagination. With her own magic as hindered as it was, Kaoru was probably overreacting. She pushed the errant thoughts from her mind. It was nothing. Who in there right mind would even want to attempt such a thing with her? Following the circular hallway with her feet, she picked up her pace as she got closer to her chamber. She needed to be away from everyone, the hateful stares and harsh comments.

Finally nearing her room, she stopped in front of the door with a heavy sigh. Her brother halted behind her, and she could feel the emotions she had for him well up. Knowing that the passages around her room were always empty following the ceremony, she hesitantly pulled up her veil so she could see. The halls were indeed bare, and Kaoru was thankful for this brief moment they could have.

She looked up into the face of her brother, angling her head to accommodate his height. He wore brown and navy blue, the colors of a soldier or indentured servant. The clothes were clean but well worn from use, and they lacked any adornment or other pomp. They were also spelled to act as a light armor. He felt no need to draw attention to himself, in fact, he hated attention. Aoshi's dark hair had gotten a bit long again, hanging and falling into his eyes. Although he was well groomed, his hair blocking his face was something he didn't mind. He held himself straight and taut, waiting diligently to thwart any threat to his sister. She examined him, noting the tell tale differences that the years had done to him. He was weighed down by their situation, by his responsibilities.

Checking the hall again for others, she quickly moved forward and wrapped her arms around his waist. Hugging him was like hugging a stone wall. Through the veil she could feel his hand come down to rest on her head. Tears swam behind her eyes, and she quickly moved away from him. It wouldn't due to have someone notice their interactions.

"I have you, you're fine. I won't let anything happen to you. I promise."

He whispered the words in a flat voice, and Kaoru felt her senses start to return. Aoshi, her rock- he was the only thing that made living bearable. What had she been thinking? She wanted to apologize, to tell him that she loved him and needed him. He wouldn't let anything happen to her, but if anything happened to him she wouldn't survive long. After all this time, he was the only reason she got up every day.

Without a voice however, she couldn't even say his name.

Aoshi must have understood her thoughts, even with his own personal obstacles; his other senses were sharp enough to make up for them. She was grateful for that. Kaoru allowed her eyes to flicker up to Aoshi's face. Markings like those around her neck covered both of his temples, the black standing out against his tan skin. It was the mark of Yumi's work. A stain on those whose magic she had manipulated. Just as she had been a mute the last eight years of his life, so too had he been blind.

Separate from one another, the setbacks would have been workable, but together it was unbearable. Kaoru was unable to communicate a thought, and he was unable to see her sign or mouth words.

"I have some errands to run, stay in your room until I knock."

Knowing that he wouldn't see her motion of understanding, she switched back to the only signals they had; and snapped her fingers. It felt cold, impersonal…inadequate. Opening the door, she paused briefly to look back at him. He turned his focus to the room, and she knew he was employing his available magic in an energy sweep. Obviously satisfied with the results, he turned his attention back to Kaoru.

"Lock it."

He must have sensed her movement, because his head inclined softly. He reached forward and pulled the door shut behind her. She dutifully pulled the heavy bar across the door, effectively trapping others out and her in. Leaning back against the grainy wood, she listened to his footsteps as they retreated down the corridor. Feeling emotionally drained, she pulled at her gloves, throwing them across the room in a moment of anger.

Damn her! Damn Yumi and her wicked mind!

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Next Time: The next chapter is finished and just needs editing, so expect it up soon. We meet the man with the violet eyes and hear Sanosuke's fond nickname for Yumi.

Leave a review please!

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	2. A Meeting

Author's Note- Yippee for Chapter 2. To be honest, this chapter is a bit short, but there was no way I could have written another portion without the chapter becoming like 40 pages or something ridiculous. On that note, my internet is still down…waaayyy down. I'm working on the next chapter…which is already longer than this one, and that should be up in a week or two. (crosses fingers)

Other Note- Working hard on the next Things Left Unsaid chapter…yippee! BTW- I was nominated for an RK award over at Meiji Tales for Things Left Unsaid. Haven't accepted yet (which I will be doing), but everyone who loves Kenshin fanfiction should go check that place out. You can find some great reads there.  
Rating: R/M

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Disclaimer: Sorry, barking up the wrong tree. 

Chapter 2

A Meeting

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Kenshin sat in his guest quarters trying to ignore the stink of wrongness that seemed to pervade everything. Running a hand through his tied back hair, he rubbed briefly at his temple and resisted the urge to scrunch his nose. He had already tried it once before, and it hadn't helped. The smell was thick in the air, an almost tangible thing that he could reach out and touch, curling around his fingers in wide loops. The scent reminded him of rotten fruit and old blood and had started as soon as he'd entered the territory to Yumi's stronghold. It was rank, thick, and he wouldn't be surprised if it curdled milk. 

It was a stench he was hoping to rid the world of during this trip. The reeking odor of Yumi's distorted magic. He was surprised that the other people living here weren't constantly sick from the smell. It was acrid and nauseating, even a person with very little magic would be able to feel it slithering over their skin. He could feel it now, clinging to everything in the room, rolling over him in some sort of twisted decaying wave. Most of the individuals he had traveled with had gotten sick at least once from it during their journey. He was one of the lucky few who hadn't, but it had been a close call more than once. He'd never seen his healer prescribe so many stomach settling mixtures.

Glancing out the window, he quickly estimated the time; it would be a few more minutes. He leaned back and stretched out his legs. The muscles stretched and he sighed at the good feeling. Settling back he then turned his neck back and forth in an effort to stretch it too. This trip was making him too tense, and the encompassing smell wasn't helping.

Kenshin supposed that was the first problem. Yumi knew how much her magic stunk. It would be impossible for her to have done so much wrong and have her magic remain untouched. It was like walking though knee deep mud and expecting your boots to stay clean. Ridiculous. Too much of anything and your magic changed to fit your needs, bending itself to your will. So she kept her courts filled with idiots that knew next to nothing about magic. He had observed their faces much of the day while in court, and seen the open looks of adoration and wonderment. The constant talk of fashion and petty politics that she fueled with small smiles and nods. Yumi had always loved being treated like a queen, but this was taking it much too far.

He still wasn't sure how such an ignorant class had thrived here. Magic, even the comprehension of magic, could make or break a nation. None of Yumi's sycophants had even a shred of magical understanding.

And those that did have magic…Kenshin's mood turned foul.

A soft rapping sounded on his door before it opened and a head peeked in. He shut out the sudden trail his thoughts had started down. He needed to stay in focus and in control of himself. The girl squinted at the light shining in her eyes, but didn't move any closer into the room. He locked away his last bit of anger, knowing even as he did it that it wouldn't last. Motioning for her to enter, the small woman shut the door behind her. Her eyes openly ogled the lavishly decorated area as she walked deeper into it, and he waved his hand towards a chair. Yumi must have given less extravagant lodgings to the others. He didn't think much of the room. Although decorated nicely in greens and blues, the ornamental décor couldn't detract from the smell. He already knew that trying to sleep was going to be hell. She sat quickly, the average sized chair making her appear even smaller and doll-like. She fidgeted under his gaze, and pulled at the thick braid of hair hanging over her shoulder.

"This dress is awful."

Her voice sounded forlorn and depressed.

"Misao, you know that while visiting here you are expected to wear one."

He watched her visibly deflate. The poor girl had spent most of her life running around and climbing trees- wearing pants and acting like a boy. The gowns had to be killing her. She pulled at the embroidered stitching on her skirt, and Kenshin discretely rolled his eyes. He'd told her to wear a dress, and she had dutifully done so. Kenshin didn't pity her predicament. He was aware that all her clothing for the trip had been modified in ways that an average gown wouldn't be. If a dozen soldiers got in her way suddenly, she'd have a weapon for each of them. She wasn't quite as fast with the extra fabric around her legs, but she sure as hell blended in better. And that was the main idea. Too bad it didn't stop her from pouting.

Misao ignored his gaze and continued to pick at the embroidery. He was certain that by the end of the day it would be destroyed.

She loved laughing, teasing, and playing tag. With her wide eyes, innocent personality, and tiny frame; she'd been mistaken for a girl of thirteen more than once. She had recently celebrated her seventeenth summer, and hated her youthful appearance. That didn't change the fact however that she was one of the best spies he knew. She'd gotten facts for him when everyone else had told him it was impossible. Misao was a paradox to him. Cute and open and then unreadable and probing the next; it was what made her such a good resource.

He watched her pull a ball and cup from the folds of her skirt, putting all of her attention into it. The dress was safe for now. She giggled or hoorayed with every successful attempt she had. Misao could even fool him sometimes.

"Where are they?"

She voiced the question he was thinking just as another knock sounded on the door.

"Come in."

He spoke just loud enough to be heard on the other side of the wood. Through the door he could feel the two individuals' combined magic; there was no reason to ask who it was. Sanosuke walked through first, holding the door for the woman following him. He shut the door after she was clear, and Kenshin noted the way the woman's eyes followed Sanosuke's form until he was seated next to her. The taller man ruffled his own hair and moved his arm so it rested behind the woman. He stretched out his long legs and tugged at the neck of his maroon tunic. Although he was clean, he looked rough around the edges; both his clothes and his boots were immensely frayed.

The woman next to him sat straight as a rod, her dress deep lavender and perfectly pressed. She carried a small fan in one hand, and the other lay motionless in her lap. Megumi's dark hair was perfectly styled in a simple up-do, and even the paint she'd applied to her eyes and lips was immaculate. Her husband moved his hand from the back of the couch to her shoulder. Kenshin was surprised that all she did was look at him from the corner of her eye. She had to be in a good mood.

At one time the two of them had been completely separate individuals. With marriage however, even their magics seemed to be mingling, weaving and bonding with one another. Kenshin found it fascinating to study, but the two of them didn't want to share. He knew a plethora of information on magic, but natural magical attachment was one of his weakest subjects.

"Kenshin, lets get this over with. I've been nearly sick more times today than I want to count."

Sanosuke's voice was loud and good-natured, but beneath his words Kenshin felt apprehension.

"I want this done too Sanosuke. But we knew that it would be this way before we came."

The tall man nodded his head, but didn't say anything. They both knew it was true. But neither of them had thought it would be so bad, like a wet blanket pulled tight.

"Alright," Kenshin's voice turned serious, he wanted to get this going. "We all know why we're here, Misao?"

Misao, who had been completely enthralled with her child like game, suddenly made it disappear into one of her many pockets. She put on her working face, very serious but still slightly cute, and started speaking.

"As requested I looked into both Yumi's background here, and also the background of any other prominent magic users that may give us trouble."

She looked at Kenshin for a sign to continue. He gave one.

"As you know after the fall of Lord Shishio, Yumi was thought to be dead. Which, of course we all know is false. However, it appears that she has been in and out of this area for over ten years- meaning she was established here even before her late husband's demise."

"Why haven't we heard of anything until just recently?"

Sanosuke spoke up, looking interested and angry. He really disliked Yumi, or as he affectionately called her- 'The Piss Drinking Slut.' He had such a way with words.

"Well," Misao looked thoughtful, "Actually I think it's because the people here are so magically ignorant. No one with strong gifts lives this far north, therefore it is rarely looked after in magical terms. Everyone who is born here with some skill eventually moves to gain training. Yumi is…"

Misao swallowed, looking suddenly green, "She is actually liked here, and unlike how she acted in the south- Yumi has done nothing bad in the eyes of the public. They don't realize that they have a cobra parading as a person. The only reason it was even obvious to us was because of the lack of immigrants from the north. I have found evidence that she purposefully seeks out those with the gift."

Kenshin felt his stomach twist. How many had she manipulated and used? How many peoples' lives had been ruined by the carelessness of his country?

"It is probable," Misao's face contorted into one of disgust, "That she has been killing any magic users she can find for power. A way to solidify and strengthen her magic."

The room stayed silent and Kenshin thought of the implications. Hurting others to gain strength wasn't a new concept by any means. But it was a vicious one that he hadn't seen in use for a very long time. People like him spent their entire lives dedicated to keeping such magic from ever occurring. Blood magic. It was powerful, yes, but it made you crazy as sin. He had seen people maim their neighbors, families, lovers, all for another pint of blood. And Yumi was mad enough already. He shut his eyes, took a breath, and then opened them.

"So, are there any magic users in the north left?"

It was Megumi who spoke, her words calm and controlled. It was one of her best traits. Kenshin had first seen it when meeting her, but everyone else very quickly learned that Megumi was no shrinking violet. Having a rather strong gift of healer bestowed upon her from before her birth, she was the only one Kenshin trusted with his health and those closest to him. And he paid her handsomely to do so.

"Yes," he spoke, remembering the events that had occurred earlier. "I'm not sure if Misao discovered any, but this morning I met two- both under spell bindings and enchantments."

Megumi raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow.

"What?" Sanosuke was fuming, "It's Yumi isn't it. Stupid bitch!"

Kenshin nodded his head as Sanosuke let off a string of curse words. Some of them even made Misao, a girl who knew the streets and those that lived there, pause in shock. Megumi reached over and placed a hand on Sanosuke's knee. The man turned sharply towards her, his tirade slowing before fading altogether. He immediately looked embarrassed, running a hand through his hair and giving her an apologetic smile. She hadn't even needed to turn her eyes on him to gain his attention.

"If I may, I have some information."

Misao's arm was partly raised, almost as if she were taking a class and asking permission to speak. Her legs kicked forward and back as if she were in a swing. Kenshin had a feeling her dress would be more than just ruined by the end of the day. It would be decimated. He didn't need to say that it was odd for Misao to be the one to move the conversation along. It was good that she wanted to talk, his anger was growing again. His hand clenched then unclenched at the chair. She played with the end of her braid, a sign to those who knew her that she was totally serious and uncomfortable- despite the rest of her body language.

He smiled at her in encouragement, never quite sure how to react to her conflicting motions.

"Well, from what I have gathered, there are two magic users under Yumi's _care_- a brother and sister. Both have been under her care since she came to live here permanently. Apparently they were the children of the lord who lived here before Yumi. After the lord died, mysteriously might I add, she was _gracious_ enough to take them in."

Misao's fingers pulled at her skirt, and her mouth manipulated itself into a tight line.

"Of course, I don't see why she would object considering that one of them is a seer."

Sanosuke swore again, and Megumi actually looked surprised.

"A seer? This far north?"

"Yeah, she is being heralded as 'The Lady of Loss' and gives predictions at Yumi's court every fortnight."

The healer actually looked stunned.

"But how? Seers can't be bound magically like normal users. You can't partially bind them, and with a full bind the energy would build up until they died."

Kenshin interrupted the conversation, knowing that his next words would upset Megumi greatly. He ignored the bit of the wood in his hands as they gripped even harder. He'd be lucky if he didn't give himself slivers.

"She unbinds and rebinds her every fortnight so the surplus of energy is released much more quickly. I saw today at court."

His words came out calmer then he felt. Megumi looked at Kenshin, astonished at his words. As a healer, Megumi was dedicated to the individual- to their health above all else. The idea of someone being so deliberately cruel was revolting to her. Kenshin often had to remind himself that although she had seen a lot, there were some things still horrific that she had yet to see. This unfortunately was one of them. Sanosuke rubbed soothingly at her shoulder and she leaned into his touch. The two of them read each other perfectly.

"Her brother is also bound, I'd say about seventy five percent of his gift is locked away."

He rolled his shoulders until an audible cracking noise sounded.

Seemingly recovered from her repulsion, she asked the next sentence calmly. And although she asked it plainly, Kenshin could see the thoughts racing behind her eyes. How she could help them, what needed to be done first.

"How long has it been going on?"

Indeed, that would be the first question she asked.

"With the woman it's hard to tell, because Yumi undoes and redoes the ties on her so often. But, if both her and her brother were charmed at the same time, I'd say about eight years."

Misao added, "That's what I assumed. Yumi officially 'died' during that time."

Sanosuke turned his attention towards his wife. His mouth was a hard line.

"What sort of repercussions would that type of binding have on someone over such a long period of time?"

Kenshin froze inwardly at the question. He had been wondering the same thing. Having met the pair earlier, he could see the tightness in their frames, the sense of defeat in their postures. These magic users had been bound against their will, and they knew that they were being manipulated and controlled. They were pawns in her wicked and twisted games, and had been for a long long time.

"Well," Megumi brushed back a nonexistent stray hair before continuing, "I'm assuming that it was forced?"

Her words were spoken toward him, and he indicated his agreement. No way would anyone agree to be a willing slave of Yumi's.

She went into healer mode, her eyes focusing on the far wall as she shut out lingering thoughts and emotions.

"I have seen several similar cases in the far west, but that was when I was still an apprentice. And they were a different sort of magic. Suffice to say however, that the long term affects are not pretty. It would also depend of course on the type of binding."

Her head tilted towards Kenshin's in question. He felt repulsed simply saying it.

"A Black Mark binding I believe."

He watched her rub at her forehead as she took in the words. That wasn't a good sign. Usually she just nodded and then kept on thinking up a solution. But this was no run of the mill magic. This magic was old. Even he knew that a Black Mark binding was something not done anymore. It was painful, debilitating, and left the recipient with telltale marks. The binding was also one of the few that was intended to remain for life, and wouldn't be lifted even with the caster's death. It had been Shishio's favorite.

After several minutes of thinking, Megumi's eyes moved from the wall to her lap before turning back to Kenshin. She looked…frazzled.

"Well, the most prudent suggestion that I can make would be to remove them before the conflict with Yumi occurs. I haven't known anyone that can successfully disconnect such a bond without seriously injuring the person. Being that the woman is a seer, the situation is even more delicate."

He didn't need her to say the words that were just beneath the surface. If he killed Yumi and they were unable to help the seer, the pressure would eventually destroy her. Spilling up and out of her until she was nothing but a husky shell of who she once was. But first, Kenshin shut his eyes, first they would drive her insane, a pressure that grew and grew but couldn't be released. Being how much the siblings had already suffered, he wanted to do all that he could to help. His eyes opened. It was his kingdom's fault that Yumi had escaped, his kingdom's fault that they were leading the lives they did. And he would be damned if he let Yumi destroy even more people while he was able to stop it.

Kenshin watched Sanosuke bend his head near his wife's ear and talk softly. She nodded and some of the tension in her shoulders melted. Thank the heavens for Sanosuke. Kenshin wasn't sure what he could possible say to Megumi to make her feel better. Of course, this whole ordeal would be a difficult one for her. She knew what it was like to be helpless and dominated. He pretended not to notice the way Megumi had her hand suddenly wrapped very firmly around her husband's. Maybe he should have chosen another healer, this case was too similar to the one she had been rescued from.

No. Megumi would have fought like a wildcat if he had told her she wasn't going. She knew she was the best, and she knew that they needed the best.

"Right." He spoke decisively, "Sanosuke, I want you to become better acquainted with the guards' shifts, positions, and routines- Not to mention any prominent servants or citizens in residence. Misao, gather information on the siblings, especially the brother. We need to know what sort of magic he uses and his mental situation. While you're at it, see if you can get a look at Yumi's schedule. Megumi, I need everything you can get for me on the Black Mark spell. This one will have to be done right, and on the first casting."

They stood up, obviously taking this as a dismissal.

"But," his words now were much quieter, "We mustn't let Yumi know our thoughts. Nor can she know what we have planned for her. To her we must seem simply like nobility that have put the past behind them. She may attempt harm however, so be prepared."

Kenshin was aware he was being overly talkative about the subject. Everyone in the room knew why they were there and what had to be done. Misao smiled in assent however, the ball and cup from earlier again in her hand. She giggled softly and tugged at the uncomfortable clothing she wore. Megumi still held onto Sanosuke's hand, but they too both made a gesture of understanding.

"Anything else? I wanted to go get a snack before starting."

He heard the underlying words in Misao's easy sentences. She wondered about meeting again, about a time table for their operations.

"Misao, I'll let you know."

Tapping his head she made an 'Ahh' sound before exiting the room. Her own magic was barely able to lift a pencil, and he knew that she was still forgetful of the silent communication he often opted for. It was the one thing he wished was different about her. She was able to defend herself physically, beautifully in fact, but that didn't mean he never worried about her and magic. One spell at one wrong time and she would be in a lot of trouble. If he ever told her though, she'd think he didn't have any faith in her. He was hoping to find a magic user to work with her…but…so far she had more than just vetoed his suggestion. She'd flat out refused, and she was too good for him to really complain. It was a no win situation.

Sanosuke started for the door, his free hand fidgeting with impatience. The man was physical, and sitting around gathering information was not his idea of a good time. He'd been that way from the first time he'd met him. Too young to know better, Sanosuke had made some awful messes by using his fists.

Too bad that he wasn't going to use them yet. He would get is action later. With him halfway out the door, he suddenly stopped and turned. Megumi disengaged herself from her husband and came back towards him.

"Kenshin."

She spoke to him in a slightly worried tone. Coming from Megumi, it made the hair on the back of his neck rise. Megumi was never worried.

"Are you going to try and contact either of the siblings? Maybe they will be able to help."

"Don't worry about it Megumi, we'll talk again soon."

Clearly not satisfied, she turned and briskly walked toward Sanosuke. He had never seen her stroll or saunter. No, she walked with a clear purpose behind each powerful step. As she passed by Sanosuke, he looked over his wife's head toward him. Kenshin had never met two such different people that melded together so closely. They seemed like oil and water when they had first met; arguing, fighting, and calling each other names. The two were bitter enemies.

After several months of trying to get his closest friend and best healer to work together, his mouth had dropped when he'd caught them near the servant's quarters one night. They hadn't noticed him, but he had seen their argument turn into a lovers' tryst. Four months later to everyone else's astonishment, they'd married.

It still boggled him at times.

Alone again, he let his mind digest the day's events. The sun set behind him through the windows, and the room was cast in a red orange glow. Through the windows the light cast half rainbows across his walls and ceiling. His nose wrinkled. Pretty enough, but it still didn't detract from the smell.

Slouching in his chair he reached for a forgotten glass of water. After checking it for impurities and poisons, he took a small sip. Although lukewarm, the wet liquid slid easily down his throat. He'd been revolted by Yumi and her court, the decadency and disorder running rampant through it. It, like the smell, hovered in the air, contaminating everyone in the area. People that would usually lead decent lives were now scrounging around for scraps at Yumi's table. He had hoped to come here and simply kill her, bringing the others along for insurance.

He longed for her blood, wanted desperately to spill it so this could be over. But, like Shishio, Lady Yumi would never go quietly or willingly into the afterlife. Her filth had spread deep into the roots of this area, poisoning it as her power grew, and the people under her had become nearly as twisted as her. Even if she were removed, things here would never go back to the way they were. They didn't even deserve to be saved.

And once Yumi was removed? Kenshin let out a heavy sigh. He wouldn't be surprised if either of the previous ruler's children wanted nothing to do with their homeland after this was over. They had been made into objects less than slaves in their own home. Any good memories he was sure Yumi had tarnished or blotted out beyond recognition.

His mind paused on the scene he had witnessed earlier.

The seer, a woman whose face couldn't even be shown was frozen in his mind. Megumi had been right earlier. People who could see the future were rare, even in the most magically thriving communities. Seers were hounded after by rulers who were desperate for the power they could gain. They could be born in squalor, and have after only a few short years of visions, made more money than most in their entire lives. He had only met a few in his life, but they had all been so tired and knowing.

But the woman he had seen earlier. Kenshin felt another sigh escape his lips, this one of longing. The dark cloth surrounding her form, the heavy veil that shrouded her like a corpse. Unable to communicate with the one person closest to her and trapped under a vicious Yumi- he was surprised she had lasted so long. The drive, the purpose she must have possessed to keep going year after year. She was weak now, frail and delicate, and so close to giving up. But she had survived. He wanted to know all that he could about her, every little thing.

She had appealed to a part of him that he wasn't aware existed. The part of him that wanted for himself. He couldn't remember the last time he had desired something so badly. He wanted to wrap her up and hide her from the world, hide her from prying eyes and spiteful rumors. He wanted to her to smile, laugh, and finally be allowed to live. Kenshin knew that she had it in her. Beneath the layers of misery and weariness was something just waiting to emerge.

Every aspect of her drew his attention, and he hadn't even seen her face.

Her discomfort was obvious to him, as was the pain deeply rooted from Yumi's interference. When she'd tripped he had needed to catch her, needed to touch her. And although the fabric swathing her was thick and coarse, it could not hide the soft body beneath it. And the smell she had. He shivered despite the warmth in the air. She had cut through the sour smell of incense and filth, and filled his lungs with the scent of lilacs. The woman had tensed at his actions and words, sure that he was trying to make of fool of her. It tore at him. He hadn't been. How long had it been since someone had been kind to her? How long since an encouraging word or generous action had been directed her way?

He had wanted to peel away the veil covering her from him. It proved to him that her life had been one constantly undercut by pain. It was a mark of Yumi's control over her. He wanted to dress her in blue, green, pink, purple, and throw away every black article of clothing she owned.

Earlier, Kenshin had given into temptation when she'd been close. He'd leaned as close as he dared, and through the heavy material two large eyes had peered back at him. Deep, blue, they were filled with an anxiety that made his heart hammer and start.

Her brother had shown up, and he had been upset that their moment had been ruined. Not that it could have continued forever, too many individuals were close by. Still, he hadn't been able to control himself. As she'd left the room, his mind had reached for hers and Kenshin had nearly groaned. He'd forgotten that with her magic bound the way it was, she was unable to block anything. Instead of a melding of magic, he had unintentionally glimpsed the core of her. He shivered again and stood up.

She was pure beyond belief. A good, kind person that was stuck and desperately trying to survive. A bird trapped in a cage. His want for her doubled at that moment. He had sent warmth towards her, comfort, knowing that at that moment it was all he was able to offer. It was all he could do now to keep himself from reaching for her again.

He glanced out of the far window and approached it. The sunset had turned a blood red and covered the sky in a malicious hue. A bluebird sat on a branch outside, clearly out of place in the cold harsh climate. His eyes focused on it momentarily. It paused briefly then took off into the air, disappearing as it traveled further and further away. Kenshin turned away from the window, suddenly furious, and drew his curtains closed. The room was plunged into darkness.

Megumi would save her, she had to save her. The young woman couldn't survive much longer in this environment. Those blue eyes had reflected too much pain for someone so good. And after he freed both her and her brother, he was determined to guard that fragile heart with everything he possessed.

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AN- Not the best chapter of all time, but hey I'm writing this to relieve stress. This is about having some fun… So…Review. 

Next Time- A look at Aoshi and the past. Man, that guy knows how to brood.

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	3. Desolation

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Author's Note- Hello. This chapter just sort of wrote itself. I love that. Enjoy, and please feel free to leave a review.

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Caged

Chapter 3

Desolation

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_Aoshi bounded out of the stables, intent on the path beneath him. The setting sun beat warmly at his back, highlighting a green land that would someday be his. The worn dirt beneath his feet he had traveled over hundreds of times, and the strong scent of grass and horse hung in the air. At twelve he found himself in the precarious position between childhood and adulthood. His increasingly long limbs swung in a deliberate motion, marking his position in society as noble. Although still adjusting to these changes, his moves were smooth and showed a comfort with the beginning alterations. He had been out riding Rindela for most of the afternoon, a pretty mare that loved going for long periods, stopping to practice when the sun was at its highest point. _

_His father had told him just last week that he had more promise in magic skills than anyone in the area, and if he studied hard enough he'd be able to go south for training in a few years. It was thrilling to him, astounding. _

_Turning a corner, he approached his large home. Although he cared for it greatly, the very thought of going south made his heart pound. He wanted so badly to gain skill. He was young yes, but even he could see the importance of magic in the world. He only knew a handful of older individuals that studied it in the area, and he had gone to each of them, asking politely for instruction. Two had given him lessons, and he could feel it being honed within him, getting stronger and clearer. He would become a great warrior and protect his father's lands. He didn't want to rule himself; even now he could see that he had no patience for politics. Sitting in financial meetings with his father was absolute torture. But Kaoru his sister was young, bright, and he would gladly support her claim to rule. _

_A small smile worked at the corner of his mouth. If he hurried maybe he could join his family for dinner. Then he could eat with his father and sister and tell them the great news. While training today he had successfully cast a sensory charm. He had been able to 'see' all the large life-forms to the edge of the lake! Everything from a fox hidden in the distance to a frog bathing on a rock he had been able to discern. His father would be thrilled, and Kaoru was sure to be jealous. _

_After dinner he'd promised to take Kaoru outside to the wishing well and read to her. His sister was a hassle at times, always wanting to hang out with him and pestering him. But he could never say no to her. Her big eyes would look at him imploringly, and he would inevitably find himself agreeing with her request. His father had told him multiple times that he needed to be kinder to his younger sister, that she needed more care because she had never known their mother._

_She had just begun to show signs of her own magic, dreams and visions happening periodically over the past six months. It had worried his father, who'd looked high and low for a source of guidance to the magic world. His father was old, with little knowledge of the subject. This magic was even rarer than Aoshi's strong talent. His father however wanted what was best for his changing children. _

_Aoshi didn't really like Lady Yumi, the woman his father had brought to stay with them. It was true that she knew magic, but she was…unsettling. She was nice enough, but watched them both with eyes that seemed calculating and cold. He had tried to tell his father, but his father had smiled and said that he was probably just complaining about the work load. Lady Yumi deserved respect and kindness and it was up to Aoshi to set a good example. He wasn't sure if his father really believed that, or if he was willing to put up with her for his children's' sake. _

_If that were the case however, he felt his father should simply stop. He did not like her and Kaoru certainly didn't either. She hid to avoid her lessons, and had even cried one or two times. When she came to Aoshi, telling him how scary Lady Yumi was, how she couldn't sleep anymore, he'd began to go to her lessons with her. She had been grateful. _

_Running up the last few steps to the entrance he stopped at the flurry of movement. Servants were rushing through the large entry way, seemingly frantic and random in their movements. An odd hush had fallen over the place, and he felt something like lead settle in his stomach. The scene was too familiar. A unit of guards directed the crowd, blocking the way to the upstairs. Rushing forward, he ignored everyone and focused primarily on his pathway. His family and guests were the only ones that lived in the upper floors of the building. It was just like before._

_Placing himself directly in front of the two stationed guards, he frowned._

_"Let me upstairs."_

_His father always told him that asking kindly would never have the same result. The two guards, both unrecognizable, exchanged a look between each other before allowing him through. He ignored them, taking the stairs two at a time. He couldn't remember exactly what it had been like when his mother had died, but he had heard the stories. After giving birth to his sister she'd grown weak and delirious. Less than an hour later she'd died. For days the whole place had been chaos. The atmosphere was eerily reminiscent._

_Reaching the top step he froze at the sight of his sister in the middle of the hallway. Crumpled on the ground, her small hands clenched at her lavender dress as she openly sobbed. He took a tentative step forward, unsure of what to do. Hearing the movement she looked up at him. Her young face was red from crying and her blue eyes were bloodshot and tear filled. _

_"Aoshi." the voice cracked, "Daddy…Daddy is…"_

_Her hands reached for him even as she broke down again. Not knowing what else to do, he reached forward and picked her up. She was still relatively small for her age, and she fit within his two arms. _

_"What happened?"_

_He was shocked to hear the odd tone in his voice. He sounded close to tears. But the very notion was ridiculous. His father had told him many times that Aoshi was nearly a man. And Aoshi knew without a doubt that men did not cry._

_Kaoru made a noise against his chest before breaking down again, wetting the front of his tunic with her tears. His hand moved up and down over her back, trying to do something he knew he wouldn't be able to. She needed to be taken care of, protected. She needed Father._

_"Kaoru," he spoke quietly, "I have to go…I have to go see what's happening. Will you wait here for me?"_

_"I…" he strained his ears to hear her, she was buried in his shoulder, "I saw it yesterday, but I didn't say anything…It's my fault…it's all my fault."_

_He froze at her words. Kaoru didn't like to talk about her magic, she said it was stupid and made everyone sad. When it had first appeared she would cry for hours after an episode. But he had gotten her to admit that she rarely saw good things…only bad. _

_Setting her against the wall, he lowered her boneless form. She continued to cry, her hands covering her face. He wanted to stay with her, but he had to know what happened. He spun briefly, glaring down both sides of the hallway. It was dimly lit, the candles on the wall casting a sinister glow. Where was her nanny? Where was everyone else? _

_"I'll be right back Kaoru, I swear I'll be right back." _

_He left her against the wall, tearing down towards his father's bedroom. Her hiccupping and crying followed him. The door was wide open, the inside dark and uninviting. _

_"Father?" _

_Out of the darkness a shape emerged, and his heart started beating again. Of course his father was fine; Kaoru was overreacting about something else. Something was wrong, but father, he was fine. Father was big and strong and good. He wouldn't leave now. Kaoru and him didn't have a mother anymore, they needed their father._

_But it wasn't Father that emerged. Lady Yumi stepped out of the darkness, her emerald gown glittering in the dark. Her hair was pinned carefully to the top of her head, matching jewels placed in an elaborate design. Her lips, painted a startling red, were in the shape of a small frown._

_"Aoshi." her voice was like oil and he felt sick listening to it. It was supposed to be Father, not her!_

_"Where is my Father?"_

_His voice barely shook. _

_"Oh." Her hand reached out and rested on his shoulder, "I'm very sorry child, but he passed on just after lunch."_

_The dim lighting coupled with her pale skin made her look like a corpse. _

_"Liar."_

_He pushed her hand away, wanting to throttle her neck. She lifted a perfectly styled eyebrow, than leaned toward him. His magic rippled uneasily. Lady Yumi didn't feel…right._

_"Oh, but he did Aoshi. We were eating dinner and then…well…I don't want to seem cruel."_

_He felt the lie twist out of her mouth and wrap itself around him. The bitch. He didn't know how, he didn't know why…But Lady Yumi had played some part in his Father's demise. _

_"I want you out." He turned his head and yelled for the guards. _

_They could arrest her, they had too. Aoshi was in charge now; and he could see the woman hang for her crime. _

_Her quiet laughter spilled into his train of thought, and he turned towards her in anger. _

"_Be quiet! You will pay for your actions."_

"_You sound like a petulant child my dear Aoshi. I have done nothing wrong."_

_The two guards from the staircase appeared, and Aoshi let out a sigh of relief. Finally, something was going his way. He could have her put into the dungeons, and then he could go back to Kaoru and meet with his Father's old advisors. This was all happening too fast, and a numbness was beginning to steal over him. The knot in his stomach twisted harshly. His father was dead. First his mother, now his father. _

"_Arrest her."_

_They looked at each other, than to Lady Yumi. The lead within his stomach seemed to cramp up. They didn't move. They each gave a slight bow to Lady Yumi instead._

"_My Lady?"_

_His head whipped back to her, and he saw triumph gleaming in those cold merciless eyes. NO! Things were not supposed to happen like this!_

"_Restrain him."_

_The guards reached forward and twisted his arms backward. Using the hand to hand lessons he had been learning, he dropped into a crouch and managed to throw one off. The other guard brought his hand down hard on the side of Aoshi's face, and he staggered from the blow. Stars dance behind his eyelids, and a heaviness filled his skull. When he finally recovered enough to fight back, he was held by both guards in a move he couldn't break. He was still too small, too weak._

_Crouched over, he watched her through the fall of his bang. If only he was able to use more magic, if only he had studied harder. He had never felt so much hate for another human being in his entire life. _

"_Bitch."_

_He didn't even recognize his own voice. She smiled wickedly at him._

"_Poor Aoshi, trying so hard already to fill your Daddy's shoes? Well, don't worry, I'll take care of everything." She glanced over his shoulder, "Speaking of everything, look who has decided to join us."_

_Aoshi froze as the sound of feminine crying reached his ears. Kaoru. He renewed his struggles, throwing himself forward and to the side, determined to help the only family he had left. The grip on his arms tightened painfully. _

_"Brother?"_

_He glanced over his shoulder, his heart thudding painfully in his chest. Her voice was hesitant, and the tears on her cheeks were fresh. She stood in the center of the hallway looking small and delicate. _

_"Kaoru run." He could sense the mounting hysteria in himself, "Run Kaoru, run away now!" _

_Kaoru may have been distraught and in pain, but Aoshi knew his sister. She turned around and took off down the hall, not asking questions. Her dress swished as she turned the corner out of their sight. Good girl. Even if he wouldn't make it…maybe…maybe Kaoru could._

_Another guard came out of his Father's room and took off after her. He jerked forward again, and the guard to his right hit him hard. He lurched to the side and for a moment nearly fell forward limp. Turning his head back to Yumi he wondered how deep her claws had gotten. Was there anyone left loyal to the family? Who could he possibly go to for help? Anger, fear, and sorrow welled inside of him. How could he protect his sister? He wasn't good enough, wasn't tough enough, not yet. _

_If Kaoru was fast enough she could probably get to the hidden staircase that led outside. But even if she got there, then what? The castle was filled with traitors. She was still young, innocent in the ways of the world. She needed someone to guard her, take care of her. If there was no one to help her, she wouldn't last long outside the castle. He needed to escape. _

"_You seem to be thinking such deep thoughts my dear child. Would you like to share them?"_

_Her silken voice cut through his thoughts and he turned his head barely in her direction. Aoshi didn't bother to say anything to her, she was deliberately being cruel. He really wanted to hurt her. _

"_Such anger Aoshi, I can see it in your eyes." Her hand reached for him and he jerked away, "They give you away."_

_She stepped back from him and he could practically feel the smile on her blood red lips. It ran over him like in a thick heavy wave. Yumi turned and began down the hall, her steps reminding him of a snake's slither. This didn't feel natural, this didn't feel real. _

_His sister's cry cut through the sudden stillness. _

_Something inside of him began to die. He pulled against his restrainers in a futile effort._

_Yumi stopped partway down the hall and glanced over her shoulder. She looked incredibly satisfied._

_"Bring him."_

_He didn't fight the guards that hauled him roughly by the arms. If possibly he would have dragged them. Anything to get closer to Kaoru. Yumi turned at the end of the hall and went into her own room. He and the guards followed. Aoshi's pulse beat erratically in his ears, an uneven sound that seemed louder than it could possibly be._

_Aoshi had never been into Lady Yumi's room, had never wanted to see her chamber. The walls were a deep burgundy, with heavy golden drapes covering the windows. Dark wood was used in the cabinetry and woodwork, and instruments of all sorts lay throughout the room. He took in a deep breath and nearly gagged. The room smelled revolting, causing his already tight stomach to roll with nausea. _

_The door closed behind him and with it so did his hope. Yumi had him right where she wanted him. He wasn't sure what she wanted with him, but he was in her claws. His father was dead. He was pathetic. What could he do? Glancing across the room his heart froze within him. _

_No, please…no. _

_Kaoru sat in a chair, a thick rope holding her in place. She cried quietly._

_He moved toward her instinctively, the men holding him not registering until he found himself unable to go. _

_"Kaoru."_

_His voice was soft, but loud enough that it broke through to her. Her large eyes opened to him, and he was lost in a sea of blue misery. She looked delicate and even younger to him, and the urge to protect was so strong it was painful. _

_Yumi walked over to his sister and stood behind her, resting her hands on his younger sister's shoulders. Kaoru shuddered before beginning to cry again. He wanted to scream at Yumi._

_"Get your hands off of her."_

_His voice was low and shook with fury. _

_"Aoshi, my child, you really must be more aware of the words you speak. You simply have no manners."_

_She leaned forward so that her head was level with Kaoru's. _

_"What do you think my sweet?"_

_Kaoru twisted her head away from Yumi's and continued crying. Yumi made a small frown before brushing a stray face from his frightened sister's face. She straightened herself and turned her attention back to Aoshi. He could see the calculation in her gaze, and the immense pleasure it was coupled with. _

_"Aoshi, you seem like a very smart boy, at least, that was what your father always said." He didn't rise to her bait, "So I'm going to let you make the decision concerning your fate."_

_He felt the tension increase within him, so that he was nearly trembling. What did she have up her sleeve?_

_"If you like, I can have a horse readied for you and you can leave immediately." She glanced appraisingly at her nails, "Otherwise you are more than welcome to stay and serve me."_

_She spoke sweetly, and one of her hands returned to his sister's shoulder. A feeling of dread filled him._

_"What about Kaoru?"_

_Yumi's smile turned sickly sweet._

_"You know your sister is much too young to travel. And she really needs a maternal influence at such a young age. No, I think she will need to stay with me."_

_As she spoke, Kaoru's crying grew harder and Aoshi saw her imploring look. She was terrified, scared, and within Yumi's grasp, she would suffer. What was he supposed to do? _

_Yumi motioned with one hand and a guard carrying a bowl came forward. _

_"I can't leave Kaoru."_

_Her actions didn't pause._

_"Somehow I knew you would say that Aoshi. You have so much honor and duty; it reminds me of your father."_

_He bit the inside of his mouth to keep himself from saying what he wanted to. He watched her dip her hands into the bowl and they came out a dark red. It looked like…blood. _

_"Well, then, of course you must stay with her. But, if you do stay you are mine Aoshi." She stressed each syllable, "If you remain, from this point forward you belong to me."_

_He couldn't fight the shudder. Looking at Kaoru, he tried to weigh his options. Her eyes flickered between each of them and her tremble had grown to full out shaking. They were more than backed into a corner._

_"I will stay with you…but only for Kaoru. If I stay it is only for her."_

_Yumi pursed her lips._

_"Alright Aoshi, you may stay and guard your precious Kaoru. But you will never raise a hand against me; you will never talk out of turn to me. You two will no longer be noble, no longer be special. You will only be mine."_

_As she spoke she drew on the far wall a series of loops and designs. They were unfamiliar to him. But he felt the change in the room, the sudden weight that seemed to fill the air. He recognized it as magic. What was he supposed to do? He stood and watched in silence as the design grew more and more complicated. The design finished in a last loop and she dipped her hands again in the bowl. A low humming filled his ears._

_The air felt charged with a heavy layer of malice._

_"Remember Aoshi," she stepped up next to his sister, "You chose to stay. You chose this."_

_Her hands came up, putting themselves against the young girl's temple. _

_Kaoru screamed._

Aoshi jerked awake, his entire body trembling. His breath was heavy and uneven, and his body covered in a cold sweat. He remained still as the last vestiges of sleep fled from his mind. The sheets that had been so straight when he'd fallen into bed were tangled with his legs, pulled from his twisting and turning. Sitting up he brought a hand to his forehead. His other hand clenched the bed beneath him. His sightless eyes opened and the blackness they showed was all encompassing and unending.

He let his magic flare out. The room was still secure. Furnished at the bare minimum, Aoshi could hear the creaks and groans from the old building. He could identify each of them. Someone was pacing in the hall, there were three people in the kitchens washing dishes, and the drapes near the garden had been left open and were moving restlessly. Not moving his body he sent his magic to the room down the hall from him. Kaoru's doors were still secure. Inside he felt her low energy and knew she was in a sleep caused from exhaustion. The wards he had set up were still functioning and in place. He could practically see her form curled protectively around itself, thick blankets piled up to her chin. He hastily wiped the sweat from his brow, shaken and furious with himself.

It hadn't mattered how much he'd trained, how much stronger he had grown. The memory turned nightmare still plagued him at least once a week. The chaos of his home, his sister openly sobbing on the hallway floor, and Yumi's wicked smile all came back in a rush of disturbing clarity. Each night the nightmare crept on him, it would play out the same and he would wake the same. And he deserved it. Every awful gut wrenching moment that left him weak and nauseous. He pulled at the entangling suffocating sheets even as he reached out to Kaoru again. Aoshi let himself get lost in sensing his younger sister's presence even as the last remnants of his nightmare passed. Kaoru.

Late at night, when it was just him, he often found himself thinking of the past. The evening that had destroyed his sister and left him enslaved would play in front of his sightless eyes. And through it all Kaoru grew more innocent, more in need of him; and Yumi's viciousness grew sharper and stronger. 'If only' had become a mantra he repeated and prayed nightly. Under the cover of darkness he let himself wish and worry, and say those two damnable words. They were foolish words, words that could lead to nothing but more despair. Aoshi knew that. But his despair was already never ending, it was already a heavy suit he never removed. He knew that everything was his fault, knew that because of his feeble attempts Kaoru was now daily mocked and miserable. And there was nothing he could do about it. He, like her, was trapped.

He pulled himself up and let his feet rest on the cold stone of his floor. Although the chill bit into his body, he ignored the uncomfortable feeling. His physical discomfort was something that he reveled in. He didn't deserve to feel good, didn't deserve his sister's unwavering love. Kaoru with her wide blue eyes, and shy smile. He wondered how time had changed her. They didn't come into physical contact much, but he knew that she wasn't a young girl anymore. She had grown into a young woman. His hands stilled in his lap. He couldn't imagine it. Whenever Aoshi sensed her, guarded her, all he could see was his frightened sister sobbing in the middle of the hallway.

It was silly, he knew that. Even the lavender dress that he could recall so vividly was now ridiculous. His sister didn't wear lavender or any other color for that matter anymore. She wore black. Thick, heavy, constricting black. He hadn't known that immediately after his eyesight had been sealed away, but eventually as he grew more accustomed to his handicap he had heard the talk. Kaoru, so young and full of life, now nothing more than a carnival act. God, it was agony. To want so much for her, and to be unable to do anything for her. He shook his head at the thought. That wasn't completely true. He could do one thing for her. Aoshi had gotten unbelievably strong despite both his magical and physical handicap, and he used all his strength to keep her safe. He'd killed countless threats to her life, assassins sent by enemies of Yumi and haters of magic. Though he could not kill the one person he longed to.

Yumi. With her black heart and malevolent mind he longed to end her life. Those were his dreams, the best things he could see in his sleep. Snapping her thin neck, choking the air from her red lips as she strained against him, pummeling her with his fists until she was nothing more than a puddle of blood. And then he would take Kaoru and run away, finally freeing her from the life she was living. She would laugh and giggle and wear lavender again. Aoshi closed his sightless eyes and took a deep breath.

Those dreams were as bad as they were good. To see his sister again, to free her from Yumi.

He would feel shaky for hours after waking from them. The elation, the happiness. To open his eyes to never ending darkness and know that it was nothing more than a far fetched fantasy nearly destroyed him. Yumi was alive, and he couldn't kill her. Kaoru was entrapped, and he would never see her again. He deserved that misery too.

Aoshi stood up, knowing that sleep wouldn't visit him again tonight. Opening his dresser he pulled out a pair of trousers and a shirt. He was smart enough that all of his clothing matched each other. Shrugging on the shirt and pants, he brought a hand up through his hair.

This was his life, and he needed to accept its ultimate futility. He could not raise a hand to Yumi, he could not free his sister. Aoshi could get a hundred times stronger, and it still would not be enough.

Opening then shutting the door behind him, he set up wards then set off down the hall. It was empty at this time, but still he let his magic flare up and down in sweeps. With all the people visiting for the fair he needed to be extra attentive. This was a prime opportunity for someone to try and hurt his sister.

Approaching Kaoru's door he slouched on the wall across from it. He knew that she would more than likely sleep late into the day. The unsealing and resealing of her magic weakened her drastically. For the next few days he would have to pay careful attention to her, make sure that she didn't push herself. She always did. Kaoru would get up earlier than she should and try to act like it was nothing, that it didn't hurt her. But he knew. He could feel Yumi lift her spell when she did, feel all the power that usually hovered ominously over Kaoru arrow in and consume her. He knew that it wasn't natural; his magic could feel just how ill his sister's magic was, how much it had been altered.

And it was starting to take longer for her to recover. The longer she was like this, the worse it was getting for her. He had tried to shrug it off at first, but he simply couldn't deny it anymore. Kaoru was getting weaker and weaker. The cycle would kill her.

She was so close, only a door and the length of a room away. But it didn't matter. Yumi was a hawk, and she loved to exploit any weakness he showed. Every bit of kindness he gave to Kaoru would cause her to show double the amount of malice. When they'd been younger and he had tried to be the brother he wanted to be, Kaoru had almost always been in tears. Yumi would find innumerable reasons to punish her, and it destroyed him every time because he knew the truth. Aoshi could see it in her eyes, in every gesture she made. Although she was hurting Kaoru, she did it to hurt him, to make him feel helpless and weak. And he had. His entire youth he had struggled to love his sister and hid that love from Yumi.

Aoshi had learned quickly to make himself a blank empty shell. Never again would he let Yumi use Kaoru to upset him.

He inwardly grimaced at his thinking.

Aoshi was still stuck in a fantasy if he truly believed that. The course of his life had been shifted from that night so long ago. Everything Yumi did made his blood boil, and no matter how blank he was now, he hadn't been that way always. And his own eyes, though they weren't able to reveal a thing anymore, had given away the depths of his feelings for Kaoru on that night.

So he would forever dance to whatever tune his tormentor played, because he hadn't been strong enough.

Knowing that the hall was empty, he didn't stop his shoulders as they slumped.

If only.

* * *

AN: Next time- Misao does some exploring and Kaoru escapes for some alone time.

* * *


	4. A Brief Encounter

AN: Thank you all for the awesome reviews. When I did the double posting of this story and Things Left Unsaid I was soooo elated by the response they received. Thank you. Oh, and I am working on Things Left Unsaid- it may take a bit longer…but it is coming along.

Side Note- Some people have emailed me with questions and stuff, and I have been an awful writer and not responded. Please, continue with them, and I will REALLY make an effort to write back. Bother me over and over again if I don't respond. Seriously.

Disclaimer- Okay, I don't own Kenshin

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Caged

A Brief Encounter

Chapter Four

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Kaoru tilted her head back slowly, letting the warm rays of the afternoon sun seep into her chilled skin. The light lingered invitingly on her face, and through the thick fabric of her dress it whispered along her arms and legs. It rarely felt like this. Warm enough to be almost a tangible thing. She shivered slightly from the simple pleasure that sitting in the sun brought her. Beneath her skin she could practically sense her bones soaking in the heat. She rested her head against the heavy glass window next to her head and did her best to enjoy the moment. Kaoru was calmer now than she'd been in a long time.

Languidness had stolen over her from the moment she'd taken refuge in a far corner of her favorite sitting room. Surrounded by dusty books and other relics of the past, the space had changed little over the years. Old wood lined the walls and made up the sturdy tables and uncomfortable chairs. A tattered tapestry hung above the lit fireplace. The scene on it was too old and faded to discern. She was seated in what she had discovered from an early age was the only comfortable place in the entire room, a window seat tucked up against the far wall. Filled with squishy, ill formed mauve patterned pillows, it lay half hidden behind an especially large double sided bookcase. Large enough for two or three people, she'd settled on it over an hour earlier and had stayed there since.

She'd napped for a bit, the heat of the sun fueling a deep exhaustion she'd barely recovered from. Curled up like a cat, the sleep had been short and shallow. Kaoru poked at the pillow beneath her. She was still tired. Her body felt weak and ill used. If possible she would have stayed in bed all day. But Aoshi would have worried. A quiet, tense worry that would have surround the two of them for several days until she was back to herself. And she refused to let Lady Yumi see her so weak. Her hand tightened on the fabric beneath her. Stiffness ran through her shoulders and down between her shoulder blades. Taking a deep breath, she let it out slowly and tried to expel the negative thoughts.

She had to think positively. Although the day had started late, it had all the makings of being a fairly good one. That is…after she'd woken up. The nightmares she'd had were expected, and she was determined not to let them ruin what could be a fine day. No need to focus on waking up drenched in sweat and shivering with both pain and fear. No need to dwell on the thought that tonight would more than likely be a repeat of the last. She just had to work harder at shutting them out. Aoshi couldn't know how much they haunted her, or how much she dreaded sleeping these next few days.

Kaoru pushed the thoughts away; this was not helping her day get any better.

Lady Yumi was busy entertaining the court, planning and participating in the upcoming fair. Kaoru had done her _duty_ yesterday, and she wouldn't need to make another appearance for a while. Her head ached, her body hurt, and she had more bruises than she could count- but she was done. Unfortunately, she knew that by the time she had fully recovered from the experience, she'd be called on again. At least Lady Yumi paid her little attention during the days she wasn't needed in court. Thank God. Just the presence of the woman made her miserable.

Kaoru had taken a long soak in the tub after waking, trying to expel the tautness that refused to leave her. The water had been so hot, white wisps of steam had curled out of it and into the room, and the clear lavender scented liquid had left her skin red and sensitive. It hadn't done much good however. She still felt both tired and tense. The sun helped now, but she suspected that she truly wasn't relaxing- just succumbing to fatigue. Kaoru was enjoying the solitude though.

The room was empty except for her, and she was thankful for the stillness. The members of the court never wandered into here, it was too dull to excite their particular taste. No one of style would want to pour over old books and other trinkets. And it wasn't quite secluded enough for a secret rendezvous. Even the servants avoided this room, though Kaoru suspected that was due to her own regular presence.

It hurt to be alone though; she'd been unable to really talk with anyone in years. She missed the communication. The ability to have a normal conversation with someone was a craving she couldn't seem to forget. To say 'hello' to her brother or comment on the weather was a small want, but the supposed triviality of it didn't stop her from longing. Her fidgety hands smoothed at the stray hairs that had worked themselves loose of her simple up do. She glanced around the empty room before turning to look out the window.

In the garden four couples were having a snow fight. They laughed and threw comments at one another as haphazardly as they threw the cold balls of snow. Kaoru looked beyond them to the stone wall that shielded her view of the outside world. She turned away from the scene of revelry and wished for a heavy drapery to cover the sight. Without everyone around, Kaoru was able to pretend that she was just a normal young woman. Alone, no one mocked, stared, or openly scorned her.

An ache near her heart made her wish silently for Aoshi to return.

Her shadow, brother, and only ally had been called away shortly after they'd arrived at her favorite hiding spot. He'd looked his ever stoic self earlier that morning, but the circles under his eyes had told a different story. He was nearly as fatigued as she was. Kaoru wasn't sure what had caused the rings beneath his empty eyes, but she'd offered the only support she could- proximity. And although it wasn't much, she knew he appreciated it. Now, however; her straightforward objective had been thwarted.

Summoned to an unexpected meeting with Yumi, she hadn't seen the anger in his face; but had known that beneath the cool façade Aoshi was furious. She'd glimpsed his jaw flex and his mouth set in the hard line it always did when he had to meet their tormentor. Her brother did not like to leave her anywhere alone except for her own bedroom. In fact, he made it a point not to. He didn't trust anyone in this treacherous place that used to be called home.

Setting wards around the room to hinder anyone that would try to harm her, Aoshi hadn't needed to say that she stayed until he returned. She couldn't feel the protective shielding, but knew that it was strong enough to keep out anyone and everyone that would raise a hand against her. Only Lady Yumi was more powerful than her magically mutilated sibling. And if he hadn't been leaving to meet her, he would have insisted that Kaoru go back to her bedroom. Her brother was worried about her; he always was right after her magic had been resealed. Kaoru knew how protective he got, subtly threatening anyone who even breathed near her. This was another reason why she had chosen a place more secluded to spend the day. It was easier for him to protect her when they were in familiar territory.

Leaning back, Kaoru shut her eyes and let her thoughts slid away from her. She didn't want to fall asleep; she'd wanted to prove to Aoshi that she was feeling much better. He shouldn't have to worry about her when he had to deal with their _benefactor_ Yumi. Who knew what she would demand of him. Kaoru recognized how much he had given up for her, and everyday she was thankful. As a child Kaoru wouldn't have survived without her older brother. He was all that she had.

Stifling a yawn, her arms fluffed the pillow behind her back before wrapping themselves around her midsection. She only needed to rest her eyes for a few minutes. If she was lucky, her nightmares would wait until tonight to make another appearance. When Aoshi returned, she'd pretend to be feeling great. But for now, Kaoru just wanted to sink into oblivion.

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Kenshin opened the door carefully before stepping in and closing it behind him. He wasn't sure what had possessed him to go inside. With a meeting to attend, he'd known Sanosuke would be angry as hell by his absence. Angry and worried. They were in enemy territory, to forget that would be a foolhardy and dangerous mistake. And although he did not want to worry his friend, the temptation had been too strong to pass by. Sanosuke would undoubtedly grumble, scold, and tease him when he discovered why Kenshin was missing. Only after smacking him upside the head though.

Walking by the old scratched-up wooden door Kenshin had known immediately by the heavy shielding that _she_ would be in there. No one else but her brother was capable of such untainted magic in this area, and that man had only one thing he was willing to protect so seriously.

He'd dreamt of her last night. Deep blue eyes framed by heavy dark lashes. Lashes so long and thick he'd wondered how they hadn't tangled. Kenshin hadn't seen all of her, not in real life nor in his dream, but he had felt her. The touch had been brief in reality, a supportive hand on her back. But his fantasy had expanded on that simple touch.

Kenshin had dreamed of meeting her on a beach near his home. White sand as far as the eye could see; the sky had been lit up with a red and pink sunset. The light had made the sand a deep mauve, and her own pale skin had worn a reddish hue. She'd been facing the shore all smooth clear skin and soft lines. The gauzy silver thing she'd been wearing really couldn't be considered a proper dress, but it had floated just slightly in the breeze and looked marvelous on her.

It had started out innocently enough, with small touches and comforting gestures. His hand holding hers, her fingers resting on his arm as she leaned in to say something; the words muffled and too low to hear. But by the end his hand had been running up her bare leg while her breath puffed out warmly against his neck. The silvery piece of cloth she'd been wearing tangled in both their legs. The moment had been unbelievable. So good, so unbelievably perfect. Waking up, he'd ached for her physically and mentally.

He wanted to wrap himself around her and never let go.

And after pulling himself up out of the satisfied daze, Kenshin had grown furious. He'd paced his room, trying hopelessly to dispel the urge to break everything in his sight. In his dream he'd felt her breath against him as she'd spoken quietly. But he knew as the harshness of reality set in, that her doing such a thing was impossible. The poor girl couldn't speak even a syllable. A whispered confession of love was impossible. The sun had already begun its climb into the sky when he'd taken one last calming inhalation.

Now, presented with the opportunity of actually _seeing_ her, Kenshin had stared at the magic, probed it gently in an attempt to get through it without actually breaking it. Tearing it would have been an idiotic mistake. Undoubtedly her brother would come, and Kenshin hadn't wanted to alienate the one man he needed to get along with. So instead he'd studied it with his own magic, learning by observation the skill in which the ward had been placed. It was a straightforward use of magic, performed by one who was skilled and practiced. It hung softly in the air, tickling the hair on his arms and the back of his knees. A definite sign that the magic user was talented.

And the spell, intricately woven, would not allow anyone to pass that carried a wish to harm the person within. Kenshin was impressed by the spell's ability to be both protective and practical. It also made entering easy for him. Since hurting the person within was the last thing on his mind, he'd stepped through the magic shielding easily. It had ghosted through him, teasing his own magical senses before passing over gently.

Now he studied the room with an all encompassing glance. A well worn space that hadn't been cleaned in awhile, it also had a fainter stench of Yumi's magic within it. Obviously she was rarely in there. He furrowed his brow however at the apparent emptiness of the room. The brother would never be so foolish as to let his sister wander around unescorted. Walking past a heavy table and matching sofa, Kenshin examined the dusty knick knacks and other bric-a-brac.

He did his best to appear curious and innocent. Kenshin wasn't sure how he'd engage the woman when he met her, but he knew it was essential for him to appear unthreatening and friendly. He assumed that her brother was gone, but he still was prepared to converse with him instead of her. Kenshin could be a patient man when a situation called for it; and this situation was one of the most delicate he'd been a part of.

The soft sound of rustling fabric reached his ears, and he cocked his head in the direction of the noise. Coming from the far side of the room, Kenshin recognized the sounds of a person shifting their weight. Stepping around an uncomfortable looking couch, he realized that the room was much larger than it first appeared. He peered around a wide bookcase, and froze at the sight.

The woman that had haunted his sleep reclined against the far wall. Half curled in a window seat, her soft form was framed by a huge glass window. Light filtered through it and over her relaxed form. Inky black tousled hair fell loosely from the pins attempting to restrain it. The strands were dark and shiny, and he suddenly wanted desperately to know what it looked like completely down. A stray tendril lay haphazardly against her cheek. He stepped closer, letting his eyes drink their fill. Her quiet breathing sounded loudly in his ears and she shifted her weight once more.

Her hair only made her skin in comparison look paler. It was clear and unmarred, broken only by the black crescents of her eyelashes and the barely parted pink of her mouth. He mesmerized that face, the cute upturned nose, the high cheekbones, the heart shaped mouth. She was so pretty it hurt.

His attention shifted to the rest of her, and Kenshin scowled at the gown she was forced to wear. It was simple, well made of a rough fabric, and black. He'd never hated the color more. As soon as she was free, Kenshin would burn every black article of clothing she owned. In fact, he would dress her in the brightest, prettiest, and most expensive material he could buy. Inclined as she was, the material bunched slightly near her feet; displaying one slender calf. His eyes traced over her stocking clad foot and up the length of her leg. It too was pale and perfect.

She turned, stretching slightly in her sleep, and Kenshin willed himself to be silent and still. The desire he'd felt for her earlier nearly doubled. She was just as wonderful outside as she was inside.

Without thinking he took a step forward and brought his hands up as if to touch her. He needed to know if her skin was as smooth as it looked, if her hair would glide through his hands as easily as he believed. She moved again, her eyes fluttering as she lazily stirred. Kenshin stepped back immediately, forcefully willing his hands to his side. Her eyes opened languidly, twin pools of unfocused sapphire blue.

She slowly came to herself, completely unaware of him as she uncurled herself. He realized then that she hadn't just been napping, she had fallen into a deep sleep. The puffiness beneath her eyes added to his evidence, and he was aware that she must still be fatigued from Yumi's ministrations. That bitch. Glancing out the window, she tucked back a stray hair and rubbed haphazardly at the back of her eyes. Stifling a yawn, she stretched and turned her head in his direction.

Her eyes widened and she froze at the sight of him.

He smiled at her, trying to be both friendly and apologetic for interrupting her sleep. Kenshin understood from court that she was not well treated by strangers, so he put on his most open face. Let her think him a fool for not knowing who she was. She could think of him as the biggest idiot ever if she would just stay in this room near him. His eyes he knew would be a bright violet.

"Excuse me, my lady," he scratched the back of his head and averted his eyes briefly, trying to appear unthreatening. "I didn't know anyone was here."

Bringing his eyes back to her, he watched her obvious awkwardness. She fiddled with the skirt of her dress, and stared blankly at her lap. She glanced behind him as if wishing for the appearance of her brother, and Kenshin's heart twisted. The woman was so used to being treated with callousness and disgust; she couldn't even meet his eyes in fear of what they'd show. Her hand came up to brush another errant lock from her cheek, and he watched her visibly try and pull herself together.

Seeming to remember protocol, she stood up and did a slight stiff bow of greeting. Her hands shook slightly. He was dressed formally, and standing was what was done in polite circles when two met for the first time. Kenshin didn't like that she put a barrier of formality between them. But watching her gain her bearings, he knew that she needed to feel in control of the situation. Although, technically an unrelated male and female being alone in the same room was enough to incite a forced proposal on the male's side. He was glad that she didn't try to push him out the door.

"I'm sorry for intruding. Would you like me to leave?"

She seemed genuinely surprised at his words, and shrugged her shoulders. It was apparent that she had expected him to bolt at the sight of her. That being near her would sicken and revolt him. Her eyes fell to the floor and her hands bunched and twisted the fabric of her dress. In that moment he hated everyone that had so much as frowned at her.

"Thank you for sharing the space, can you recommend a book?"

He didn't especially want to read, but he did want to spend as much time with her as possible. Unable to speak, he wasn't sure if she'd try to communicate. Kenshin watched her eyes rise up to his face and her mouth open and then close in amazement. He resisted the urge to grin. Instead he tried to look friendly….but not too friendly. Turning toward the bookcase behind him, he examined the titles with forced scrutiny. Many of them were old and faded, with a thick layer of dust covering the top. He saw her approach warily from the corner of his eye, still unsure of who he was or what he wanted. Kenshin forced his body to relax, forced him to take on the body language of an untroubled, untrained, and pleasant individual.

She'd learned over the years to rely on no one but her brother, and Kenshin was going to have to be patient in his attempts at gaining her trust. Standing near him, but not too close, she pulled off several worn novels near the bottom of the shelf. The fabric of her dress teased against his thigh. The books were practically falling apart from age, mold, and use, and he comprehended that these worn and aged objects were precious to her. Kenshin didn't know what had kept her from thinking he was nothing but a useless fop, but he thanked his luck.

He reached for the top book, and froze at the scent of lilacs that seemed to fill all five senses. She even smelled good. Grabbing one, he looked down at the spine. It was a collection of myths and fairytales from the north. A collection he had at home and perused frequently. She watched him read the spine, and he saw a flush spread up from the collar of her dress over to her cheeks. She was having second thoughts about even showing it to him.

"Thank you. This is perfect."

She colored brighter at his words, but smiled hesitantly at him before taking a book herself and going back to her seat. Opening it, she pulled her knees up so that her entire frame was blocked. The novel hid everything up to her well shaped eyebrows and mussed up hair. Behind her the sun showed through the window and made her glow.

He carefully approached her and trying to look nonchalant, sat at the far end of the window seat. Kenshin ignored the sudden tension that ran through her shoulders, and opened the book up. Half reading a well known story of an enchanted harp, he was just about finished with the tale before he felt her subtly start to relax. He sensed her eyes on him, studying him briefly before moving on; afraid to be caught. But as time passed, they lingered longer on his frame, and Kenshin wondered what it was she thought of him. His fingers tightened on the book he held in an effort to keep from looking up at her. Did she want him even a fraction of the amount he wanted her? Probably not.

Time passed in a daze, Kenshin soaking in the increasingly lazy atmosphere. She was still tense, still unsure of what to make of him, but she was no longer afraid as she had been initially. He turned the page and listened to her stifle a yawn. Furrowing his brow in concentration, Kenshin didn't like the way she still seemed so tired. The energy she gave off was weak, and wavered at times in thinly veiled exhaustion. It was well into the afternoon, and he knew that her brother wouldn't tolerate her doing anything that would run her down. Kenshin amended the thought. Anything that her brother _could _do to keep her healthy.

Fury grew in the pit of his stomach. He hadn't thought he could hate Yumi anymore than he already did. But a seemingly endless pit of rage had developed when he'd seen what she'd done to two perfectly good people. And this wellspring had grown darker and deeper than anything he'd ever had inside of him.

The woman across from him turned another page, and Kenshin let his wrath filter out. Right now the only thing he wanted to concentrate on was her. He heard her yawn again, and grasped that she would probably fall asleep at the drop of a pin. She had begun to slump more and more in her seat, the minutes between her turning pages growing longer and longer. But she wouldn't let herself sleep with him so near. She was still unsure of him, and would fight to stay awake until after he left. And more than anything he wanted her to be better than she was.

Making a great show of it, Kenshin stood up and stretched, glancing out the window before noting the page and shutting the book. Ambling over to the shelf, he carefully slid the book back into its place before turning to her. She watched him with wide eyes, anxious at his sudden movement. Smoothing his slightly wrinkled shirt, he smiled sheepishly and looked apologetically to her.

"I'm sorry, it's getting late and I have an appointment." He noted the way her shoulders slumped, soothed by his explanation. They fell further, and he tried to catch the flicker of something else in her eyes. Was that disappointment he saw? Relief? Did she think that he was leaving because he couldn't take her presence?

"This place was rather peaceful though; would you care if I came back again?"

She looked up quickly, and then just as fast looked away. Her shoulders shrugged carefully in practiced indifference, and Kenshin wished he could have a regular conversation with her. His seemingly bottomless pit of hatred for Yumi grew.

"Well," he started carefully, "I hope to see you again, my lady."

Redness covered her cheeks, and she turned her head away in obvious discomfort. He hadn't known if saying that was the right thing to do, but he had needed to say something to make her see that he did enjoy her company. If those words increased her chances of opening up to him even a fraction of an inch, they were worth it.

Stepping back and grinning apologetically for having to go, he turned and walked toward the door. He felt her eyes follow him until he was no longer visible. He opened the door, and shut it loud enough behind him that she could hear it from her place by the window. A large true smile crossed his face, and he ran a hand through his hair. Setting off toward the meeting he was now long overdue at, he didn't care what Sano would say or think. He had just come face to face with something he wanted badly. Something he wanted to wrap himself around and never let go.

It had been a first encounter; with weak, mismatched, and tense interactions between the two of them- but an encounter nonetheless. And he was determined that on that one meeting he would build the footholds of their intertwined fate.

Because they were meant to be, even if she hadn't realized it yet.

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Next Time: Kaoru reflects on her meeting with a red haired person, and Aoshi begins to notice the man focusing in on his sister...and a girl watching him. He is not pleased.

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	5. Explosive Reactions

AN: I do exist! This semester of school has literally been kicking my can. But, I have been writing, and now that the Holiday break is here- I can get crack-a-lackin. Thank you for all being patient and Happy Holidays!

Side Note- This chapter….I wasn't quite sure where it was going…till it got there. Oh, well- at least it's done. I've looked through it enough times that I got a little 'burned out' on it. So it's finished.

Thoughts on it or the story in general? Review!

Disclaimer: I wouldn't mind receiving a little Kenshin for Christmas…but besides my fictional writing I have none of my own to give.

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Caged

Chapter 5

Explosive Reactions

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Kaoru shifted lethargically, stretching her hands above her head while stifling back a deep yawn. She glanced at the large wood framed mirror in front of her, noting the tired reflection that stared back with scrutiny. Her eyes seemed bright and unfocused and beneath her drooping lids the dark circles had grown. She picked up the brush lying askew on the matching vanity and slowly brought it through her hair. Freshly washed, the strands hung in a murky wet curtain around her face. It was late morning, the heavy drapes blocking the light that shone outside the windows. Lamps instead were lit, casting deep and bleak shadows over the furniture. The room from top to bottom was the same as it was every morning, every nook and cranny identical. The atmosphere was one of gloominess, and it was one that she was well acquainted with.

She had kicked her maids out that morning as soon as she was able. Three new ones, they'd arrived in a nervous flurry with their noses wrinkled and heavy frowns on their faces. All only a few years older than her, she'd watched them study her with unabashed curiosity. No one liked being rotated to work with Kaoru, but the younger ones seemed to enjoy staring at her in some sort of sick fascination. They had twittered and teetered around her, every touch and glance seeming to make them visibly more ill. Kaoru had done both her and them a favor in asking them to exit. She wasn't in the mood to try and handle people, and she knew they'd rather clean out ancient chamber pots than be near her.

Their annoying actions had made the morning even more unbearable. Sleep had been rough for her last night, nightmares coming and going as she'd twisted and turned. It had set an awful tone for the day- waking up covered in sweat and breathing heavily. She'd hoped that they were done, that she'd be free until next time, but last night had been a clear indication that she was wrong.

Chillness permeated from the stone walls and floor. The thin rug beneath her stool was not nearly thick enough to ward of the cold beneath, and her toes curled in an effort to escape the temperature. She adjusted the wool shawl on her shoulders, stubbornly fighting the urge to slide her dress on over her shift. Kaoru didn't think it was too much to want the room warmed to a livable state, but didn't want to bother Aoshi with the small inconvenience. And she would rather crawl over hot coals then ask Yumi. Sighing, Kaoru tugged a bit more on the warmth covering her shoulders and then glanced behind her. The dress she'd had the maids pull out lay unfolded on her bed, the black material nearly invisible against a matching bed quilt. It was one of her more comfortable gowns, easy to slip on, and loose enough for free movement and breathing. And although she hated the color, it did have a pretty velvet ribbon sewn into the neckline and hem.

The neckline was eye-catching too. It was her only dress that scooped just enough to show off her collar bone and neck. When Kaoru had first received it, she'd been discouraged. Yumi had purposefully made it for one reason. To taunt her. The marks on her neck were more than obvious when she wore the gown. Black, ugly, and practically obscene in her opinion, she didn't know then how she could ever wear the dress.

Now she pulled out a thickly trimmed black ribbon that Aoshi had given her last year on the day of her birth. Not that he'd ever admitted to giving it to her, but she'd seen the plain package on her bed and known it was from him. No one else had even acknowledged that such an _abomination_ had been given birth to. Like she had somehow magically appeared on Yumi's doorstep and begged to be caged. Kaoru shut her eyes, and wished the thoughts away. Pulling her hair over her shoulder, she tied the ribbon around her neck and successfully hid the marks. It was charming, and coupled with the dress she almost felt attractive.

The thought made her start, and ignoring the ribbon, she picked up the brush and pulled it quickly through her hair in retaliation. She let herself wince at the pain that cut through her fuzzy mind. The faint blush on her cheeks grew, and as it spread so did her self loathing. She was being stupid. She looked back at the dress lying innocently on her bed, and then back to her reflection. These last couple of days she'd been stupid. Like it mattered how she looked. Like anyone would notice. Like she wanted someone to notice. And it had all started so innocently. Kaoru knew that if she just had better resolve, if she was just stronger, she'd be able to turn away and end this growing fascination. But every time she tried to go somewhere else, every bone in her body protested. Some part of her was certain that she'd see _him_ if she went back to that worn room. A part of her that she shied away from would start and stutter with just the thought of seeing him.

She was still frightened of course, a stranger made her wary and nervous. Her past experiences had taught her enough that she knew to be careful. But never had Kaoru ever thought she'd experience what she had that lazy afternoon. When she'd opened her eyes after napping and he'd been there, she'd nearly forgotten how to breathe. The light from the window had lit his hair on fire, creating a blazing halo that made him supernatural in appearance. His stature was not large, but the great strength and power he possessed was evident in every line of his body. Kaoru had been awed, originally certain that he was some sort of sick hallucination she'd thought up. He'd dripped sex appeal, and every line in her body had gone taut and still. She'd felt vulnerable, soft, and undeniably female next to him.

Then he'd smiled and spoken, and the wonder had been overwhelmed with a heart stopping fear. Something about him was familiar; something about him tugged at her in a way that made Kaoru uncertain and uneasy. Even thinking of him now made her feel safe, and she knew undoubtedly that she should be feeling something else entirely. She had been alone with a stranger-an unknown man that could mock her or physically harm her with little to no resistance. Kaoru could not fight; she could not scream for help or beg for mercy. A fine sheen of sweat had broken across her brow and pooled at her back and breasts. Her heart beat had sounded loudly in her ears and she'd wished desperately that her brother might appear.

Aoshi was her buffer for the outside world, keeping her out of and protecting her from all trouble. After so many years of having him by her side, facing the unknown without him was terrifying. She'd felt faint, then dizzy, ready for this stranger to scowl or draw back his fist. And part of her had actually hoped that he would. Something inside of her that had been slowly growing wanted this weary and rough existence to end. She'd recognized the fact that Aoshi was there for her, that he had given up everything for her. If only she could disappear, if only she could end it- then he would be able to go and do whatever it was that he wanted. The man had not drawn back his fist though, had not taken out a sharp dagger. Instead, he'd smiled hesitantly.

She hadn't known then what sort of action she should take. The grin on his face had made the man, if possible, even more gorgeous. His good nature had rolled off of him in waves and had lapped lazily at her skin. Being near him had simply felt good. She'd wanted to reach out and touch him. She'd wanted to feel her bare skin sliding against his.

Kaoru still shivered just thinking about such a contact. It had been years since anyone had approached her without malice oozing like a sick festering wound. Had it been some sort of test from Yumi? Had this seemingly perfect person been nothing more than a concoction from her tormentor? And although there was something strikingly familiar about him, she knew without a doubt that she'd never seen him around the grounds. She would have remembered him. With his hair that was like flame, eyes that seemed to flicker in color, and a body that was both toned and tanned- he had to be the most attractive man she'd ever observed.

Kaoru's heart skipped at the memory, and she glanced away from the reflective image. It was embarrassing that she was so focused on someone that thought so little of her. While she'd trembled, shook, and forced a rusty curtsy out of herself, he'd seemed remarkable comfortable alone with her. Alone with a woman who wore all black and didn't say a word back when he spoke.

But that night she hadn't had nightmares, that night she'd dreamt of him sitting next to her reading. The dream had been eerily similar to real life, the sun, the book, the uncomfortable silence that grew a bit less tense with time. She'd read next to him in her dream, watched him from the corner of her eye, and woke up more curious than ever. Would she ever see him again? Did she want to see him again? A good part of her had squirmed at the thought of once again putting herself into such a vulnerable position. Without Aoshi by her side, she was easily killed. A flick of the wrist, a twist of a dagger, even a sharp blow to the chest could probably end her life. Her brother had told her and told her how cautious she needed to be. She'd walked through the next day in a haze, sure that the day before she'd over imagined things.

Yes, there had been a man in the room with her that hadn't been Aoshi. Yes, he'd been kind, handsome, and unassuming. But that didn't necessarily mean anything. When she was younger, Kaoru would have said fate was intervening for her. Because she couldn't go out and find Prince Charming, he would come for her. He would be dashing, resilient, and with flowery phrases and gentle hands carry her off into the sunset. That dream though had ended a long time ago. There were no princes waiting in the wings for "Lady Death," no surprising turn of fortune just over the horizon. Her fate had been altered once when she was a child- and it would forever remain on the downward path it had taken. She'd kept those thoughts throughout the day after meeting him. Kaoru did not get lucky breaks…not ever.

Aoshi had been quiet that day too, and her attention had forced itself from the red haired man. She'd told herself that it was a one time experience and that was that. She should remain focused on things that really mattered. Like her brother. The day after her meeting with the red haired man, Aoshi was called to another meeting with Yumi. Kaoru had taken solace once more in the bedraggled library and an equally dilapidated book. She'd tried to concentrate on the words, but fatigue had won out for the second day in a row. The sleep had been deep for a nap, and even now she was thankful that the rest had been nightmare free. Kaoru had come back slowly this time, a hazy feeling hanging in her head from the slumber. She'd turned on her side determined to pull herself out of her exhaustion when the feeling of being watched washed over her

Scanning quickly, she'd been terrified of who it could possibly be. Standing near the closest bookcase, the person paid her no attention. When she recognized him, one sort of tension left her while another one flooded in. It was the same mane of hair she'd seen the day before, his back to her as he flipped through a book. The sun wasn't as strong as it had been, but his hair still glittered and gleamed. All the courage she thought she had abruptly disappeared. Doubts ran through her mind and her hand had unconsciously moved to cover her fluttering midsection.

He'd turned towards her then a bit awkwardly, and apologized for bothering her again. Once more she hadn't known what to do; once again she'd searched her mind for some way to escape. He'd grinned and sat down next to her, opening a book as he did so. She had stayed, and like last time the strain in the room had been so thick she'd been surprised she could draw breath. He'd remained for much longer this time, and Kaoru had tried frantically to look at anything but him.

Unfortunately, that day all she could concentrate on were his hands. They'd tease just the edge of her vision, long strong fingers covered in calluses and small scars. The nails were clean, something that she usually saw only on her brother or herself. He'd held the book carefully, each page turn meticulous enough not to tear or damage the fragile material. The action showed a caring and concern she hadn't observed in a long time. And it had made her start to wonder. Just what sort of man was he? He who was kind to the mute and gentle with fragile books despite his strength?

And the thoughts that had followed made her even more uneasy. How would his hands feel running through her hair? How would they feel stroking her arm or her leg?

He'd left shortly after, once again apologizing for having to leave. The next day though he'd gotten there even before she. And again they'd sat in silence, Kaoru not so certain anymore of what to think. If before the room had been filled with anxiety, she could now feel it being replaced with something of a different sort. The atmosphere was one that she did not recognize, but it hummed just beneath her skin and made her feel nervous. If he sensed it, he didn't do anything to show it.

She'd wanted to ask him a question or two, but the realization that she couldn't had discouraged her to the point of tears. Now today, she was sickened by her own body's response. How could she ever begin to feel comfortable around him was mind numbing. And more importantly, she needed to tell her brother.

Her heart stumbled at the thought and she cursed it. Whatever inexplicable connection she thought she had with the red haired man she needed to dispel. And the first step was somehow letting her brother know. And then Aoshi would take care of it and….She didn't let the train of thought go any further. The idea of Aoshi hurting him was alarmingly disturbing. And Kaoru still did not know what Aoshi and Yumi were conversing on. He had been called away each day by Lady Yumi, torn away from her and leaving a hole in her heart where he usually was. She couldn't stand not being near him, and knew how much he hated being away from her. And as each day passed he looked more and more exhausted.

She didn't know what to do. Yumi was doing something to her brother, she could feel it deep within, and she was absolutely terrified. What action could she possibly take? None. Aoshi, trapped as she, was just as vulnerable and it killed her. She could see the tension in his frame every morning, stringing him tighter and tighter. He did so much for her, and if anything happened to him Kaoru knew she would not survive long. By someone else's hand, or even her own, without Aoshi she would undoubtedly die. He was the only thing keeping her both safe and anchored.

Throwing her brush down, Kaoru purposefully turned and stood. Roughly pulling her hair back into a loose knot on the back of her head, she secured it while pushing the stranger and her brother from her thoughts. Picking up her dress, she slid her arms into it and pulled it over her head. She did the small bit of lacing in the front while her mind turned over on itself. Yes, she would tell Aoshi. But she just couldn't bring herself to do it yet. The red haired man was hers. Their afternoons together for now were just for Kaoru, and she didn't want to share.

As she smoothed the fabric over her hips, she wondered just how long she had sat there drifting off into space. Hopefully Aoshi hadn't been waiting for long. Slipping on a pair of stockings and some soft sole shoes, she just finished when a sharp knock hit the door. A sound she knew intimately, Kaoru rushed to open the door. Aoshi stood just outside, tall, straight, and silent. The circles beneath his eyes were now matched by a great cloud of weariness that seemed to roll off him in waves. She wanted to ask what was wrong, she wanted to hurt Lady Yumi, and she needed for Aoshi to be okay. Aoshi with is dark hair falling just so, seemed to read her thoughts.

"Kaoru, don't worry"

He didn't say that it was fine, didn't say that he wasn't in pain or trouble. And Kaoru knew he wouldn't say anymore on the subject. She snapped her fingers in understanding, not knowing what else she could do. If he said he would handle it, then he would. She could do nothing but believe in him. He was all she'd had for most of her life. He stepped back, closing the door behind her, while she took off down the hallway. She wasn't sure exactly where she was going today, the monotony of her so called life stretching out before her like an endless path. There were no turns, twists, or unknown travelers to meet up with. Everyday, forever, she would do the same things.

Giving into her impulse, she turned down the passageway that led to the old library. Walking briskly, Kaoru didn't bother to glance out of the wide windows. It had snowed last night, and she knew a fresh white blanket covered the plants and buildings. Instead, she turned at the correct intersections, listening to her slightly shallow breathing. She told herself that she was going there for the books, that she didn't care at all about anybody else that might be there. That she had worn the dress for no special reason, not for the man who might see her in it. Especially not a red haired individual that was slowly becoming a part of her daily routine.

As she swiveled past the long hallway that led to the guest rooms, Kaoru stopped with a suddenness that even surprised her. Her eyes scanned backward towards who she was sure she had just seen. It was _him_. Standing a dozen steps down the hall, the red haired man stood talking with some other people she didn't recognize. Wearing dark breeches and a deep green tunic, the clothes looked much more similar to the ones she'd seen him in on the first day. The other days he'd been dressed much more casually. Now the clothing he wore was blindingly new and shiny- from the fastener of his hair to the tip of his leather boots. He looked wonderful, striking, and even from here she could feel that special energy coming off of him. It made a peculiar feeling well up inside of her. Why hadn't she noticed the differences in the way he dressed?

The other two he stood with were equally well-put together. The tall man to his right wore black and red, his booming voice carrying far as he added in words here and there. The only thing remotely absurd was the man's hair, which seemed so messy and spiky that it must have added at least four fingers to his height. The woman in their group though was gorgeous. With barely any effort she put the most striking of Yumi's court to shame. Wearing a deep mauve, her voice was low and rich like cocoa or coffee. The dress Kaoru had so painstakingly decided on now seemed almost ridiculous.

The red haired man turned and said something to the woman, and Kaoru felt the lingering happiness at seeing him die. She was angry. Angry that he had been so kind to her, angry at herself for feeling a connection with him, angry for being jealous of the woman receiving his attention. Desolate because it was obvious that she would never have him for herself. The far off fantasies that she hadn't even let herself acknowledge withered in pain. Laughter spilled out from them and across to where her and her brother stood, and she flinched as if the noise was a physical blow.

It was miserable, frustrating, and Kaoru knew that in a few seconds she was going to start crying. The chasm between the two of them couldn't be any larger, and at that moment she truly believed it. It was easy to pretend, so much easier than she'd thought it would be. They were _laughing_…something Aoshi and Kaoru hadn't done for years. Something she hadn't even thought about for years. She heard herself make a haggard breath, and brought her hand up to her chest. The noise was watery and airy, the lack of voice creating a sound that was truly awful. The sounds down the hall halted instantly, and she felt three pairs of eyes turn in her direction. It was his gaze though, assessing and considering, that pushed her over the edge. Her heart clenched and turned, and gave a final wrench.

As Kaoru took a hasty step back she saw him start down the hall quickly. She didn't want him near though, didn't think she could handle it. Her reaction was over the top, she knew that, but she couldn't stop the outpouring of emotions. He obviously had everything, he obviously needed nothing. And she had foolishly believed… she had actually wanted….Kaoru couldn't even find the strength to finish her thoughts. As her breathing grew more labored and harsh, she felt the solid weight of her brother come up behind her. His arm wrapped around her shoulders, and Aoshi pulled her back against his solid frame. Not wanting the man to see her tears, she turned into her brother's arms and hid her face in his chest. Her shoulders shook with silent cries, and her hands balled themselves into the front of Aoshi's shirt.

She sensed that the red haired man had approached, could feel his eyes on her. They burned into her back.

"Himura."

Aoshi's voice was cold and confident. It was a tone she'd never heard directed at her, one of condescension and barely contained violence.

"Kamiya."

The man whose name she hadn't even known spoke in a quiet and respectful manner. She trembled slightly at the deep timbre of his voice. It was so soothing, so wonderful. Her brother's grip on her tightened slightly, his only reaction to Himura knowing his name. It had been a long time since she had heard their last name. Kaoru didn't dare look over her shoulder, wasn't sure what the close sight would do to her already tangled emotions. She wanted to crawl in a hole and figure out what was happening to her.

"Kaoru." Her brother had leaned forward to speak softly in her ear, "Can you get back to your room alright?"

She listened to his words, but it was like hearing through water, and she was slow to comprehend. Eventually, with her head still buried in his chest, she shook her head 'no.' Realizing that he could feel the movement, she moved her head once more. The very thought of maneuvering her way back to the room was mind boggling. She could barely stand. His hand rubbed soothingly on her back, and Kaoru let Aoshi hold a bit more of her weight.

As his hand came up to gently rest on the top of her head, sounds faded and abruptly she could only hear Aoshi's heartbeat. Strong and steady beneath her ear, it calmed her own uncontrolled heart. She was so tired of fighting, so tired of being disappointed. Feeling scrapped raw inside, Kaoru shut her eyes and concentrated on the reassuring noise.

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Aoshi wrapped his arm tighter around his sister and let both the calming and sound modifying spells wrap around her. She didn't fight them in any way, but rather seemed to embrace the soothing self-contained world they developed for her. He could count the number of times he'd had to use magic on his sister, and they were very few and far between. She trusted him, and he knew that her perception of spells had been damaged by Yumi. Despite his actions though, tears still wetted the front of his tunic and her hands continued to clench desperately at him. She was a wreck, and it tore him up inside. She had always been more emotional than him- especially when tired- but this was triggered by something more than just fatigue. How had he been so oblivious to what was happening to her?

He knew of course what had kept him so preoccupied. Yumi. She'd crossed a line these last few days, and he was still reeling, still fighting tooth and nail to change the situation. It was futile though. He knew it deep inside, and now he wished that he had simply accepted it earlier. If he had, then maybe he would have noticed Kaoru's odd behavior. He'd attributed her energy spurts and anxiety to the drain she had experienced. Now he knew that it was something else.

Aoshi's senses refocused on the man in front of him. Kenshin Himura. A man that didn't need any introduction, Aoshi had kept tabs on him since his arrival. Himura was a strong magic user, and was rich enough and close enough to his country's throne to have more influence in politics than almost anyone there. His kingdom was also one that was known for its powerful spell work and incantations. It was one that Aoshi hadn't thought would get involved in Yumi's petty politics. Himura was suspicious, and Aoshi had wondered what ulterior motives they might have. He almost thought it was funny that at one time he had looked at studying magic there.

Now though, it wasn't suspicious or funny. Now Aoshi was furious. He didn't know what Himura had done to his sister, but he'd sensed her come undone when she'd spotted the man. Aoshi let his magic flare out over the top of his sister's head, an easy feat considering her stature, and took in Himura and his allies. He'd felt Himura's magic, the way it had curled around Kaoru, the way it had possessively reached for her heart. His free hand unintentionally curled into a fist. How long had he been preying on his sister? And how had Himura gotten past his defenses? Aoshi knew that he was weaker magically, but he also knew that the spells had been perfect. He'd worked long enough and hard enough on them to be certain of that.

"Stay away from her Himura."

His voice was soft but forceful, and he could tell by the other two standing with Himura that he'd been heard. Their energies had vibrated fractionally, and then turned toward the man between them. Aoshi sensed Himura's magic contort then straighten, and knew that he didn't like being told what to do.

"Kamiya, I think that perhaps we did not meet under the right circumstances."

Aoshi knew an apology when he heard one, but he was too angry to care. He could read Himura, could tell that he was serious about expressing regret. It didn't matter. Himura had played with his sister, had toyed with her. She was crying now, sobbing against his chest in abject misery. And it would not happen again.

"If I even sense you near her, you will regret it."

He didn't bother with threats, he spoke only facts. If Himura approached his sister, he would kill or seriously injure Himura. It was simple as that.

"I understand what you're saying."

Himura's voice was level, but Aoshi could feel the barely restrained irritation. Aoshi didn't bother to reply to his words, simply swept his sister up into his arms and turned. She wrapped one arm around his neck, and left the other one in his shirt. Her ear continued to press itself against his chest.

"Kamiya." Aoshi stopped at Himura's calling. "I would never harm her."

Aoshi ignored the seemingly knowing comment and continued down the hallway. He knew better than to believe what anyone said. He knew from experience that no one really wanted to help them. Ever. As time went on, life slowly deteriorated into a heap of agonizing and debilitating memories. And even now, Yumi had found a new way to dig her claws in and destroy what had been the last remnants of his life. Adjusting his sister in his arms, he bit back the sudden pain the action caused in his back. He stamped down the nausea and took a deep breath. Kaoru let out a soft breath of distress, and Aoshi cradled her closer. Focusing on the one thing that kept him going, he let his magic add a slight compulsion for sleep to the spell he already had going.

Aoshi had to keep Himura away from his sister, no matter how powerful he was. He needed to hold Yumi at bay as well. The woman had grown only sicker as the years had past. And all he wanted to do was run away with his sister as fast as he could.

He put Kaoru back to bed and shut the door quietly behind him.

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AN: ALL RIGHT! Chapter Five is done! Whoaaaaa….. Not going to lie- 'flowage' in this chapter is not really the way I like it. And actually…I'm actually already editing the next chapter too. It should be up by Sunday. Well, please feel free to review and have an awesome holiday!

NEXT TIME: Aoshi and Yumi spend some quality time together… Misao finally makes an appearance, and Kaoru frets.


	6. Trusting a Stranger

Author's Note: I started this chapter while still editing the one before it. This story is really really insisting on being written. In fact this chapter pretty much wrote itself fairly quickly. Too bad it takes me forever to edit it…sorry. I'll try to get better. (Even though I never seem to be able to.

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Disclaimer: Psh…I wish.

Chapter Six

Trusting a Stranger

* * *

Aoshi barely flinched as the sharp blade bit deeply into the skin on his back. It punctured the flesh above his right shoulder blade, and dragged down in a curved path that ended on the lower part of his back. He felt blood run down from the wound, but made no move to harm the one wielding the knife or treat the serious cut. His hands remained fisted at his sides and his eyes didn't waver from a spot on the far wall. The slash was one of many on his body, but this was only the third made today. They were different than most injuries he had acquired in his years of protecting his sister. The cuts burned when first made, a slow blistering feeling that hacked right through him. After a few minutes they went cold, like someone had stuck ice to the bloody cuts.

The woman holding the knife hummed under her breath as she drew it down once more, this time on the left side of his body. Aoshi ignored the person completely, gritting his teeth as the pain throbbed and grew. She twisted the knife and Aoshi sucked in a harsh breath. Inwardly he cursed, knowing that she'd done it purposely. He only had to be there a few more minutes, could tell that the incantation she was working was nearly finished. Sweat dripped from his brow and covered his arms and chest. His hair hung into his face and clung wetly to his neck.

A familiar and heavy stench hung throughout the room, and he knew even without his eyes exactly how the room was furnished. It hadn't changed since he'd lost his sight so many years ago. The layout of the room was the same, the carpet, wall hangings, and the numerous instruments within. The putrid smell had grown though, the odor so thick and pungent that even breathing through his mouth made his stomach twist in nausea. Fighting both the pain and the queasiness had been hard at first, but now Aoshi was able to stay in control usually throughout the entire session.

Yumi made a final slash, and Aoshi felt a pulling sensation in his navel. She said a word under her breath, and the tugging feeling jerked agonizingly. As if someone had taken a grater over his skin, over his very magic, the sensation ran over the marks she had made. Every nerve ending in his body burned in fiery agony. Aoshi hunched forward and clenched his fists, determined to remain silent. He wanted to keep at least that satisfaction from her. When the feeling finally passed, he straightened his frame and made no move to stop the bleeding or quell the remaining pain. The sweat on his body had grown cold and stale, and Aoshi resisted the urge to draw his hand over his brow.

He listened to Yumi walk behind him, capping the bottle of the magic she had strained from his core. He felt her twisted form approach and turned to face her. While other people he could sense often appeared in his mind as a strong color, smell, or taste, Yumi was so warped that trying to focus in on her energy was enough to make him ill. She felt like a festering wound, smelled like rotten garbage and old blood, and tasted like stale milk mixed with old eggs.

"Aoshi darling." Her voice crawled into his head and nested, "Before you leave there is a situation you need to be made aware of."

He grabbed his shirt and slid it over his head. It stuck to his back, but over the past few days he had gotten used to the feeling. He ignored it and stood waiting for her dismissal. Aoshi heard her shuffle around for a few minutes, and tried to not draw in the putrid air too deeply. Now that Yumi had finished working her magic, the smell hung heavy in the room. He thought of the words she had said, and inwardly scowled. She had called him in earlier that week and had said the exact same thing.

"_Aoshi darling, there is a situation you need to be made aware of." _

_Yumi sat at her desk and Aoshi listened as she spoke between bites of an apple. He'd just left Kaoru in the old library, and he was wary of leaving her alone. It was true that few went there, but he would feel much better back at her side. Whatever Yumi wanted, he hoped she would spit it out quickly._

"_You and Kaoru have lived here under my care for a long time, haven't you?"_

_Aoshi didn't respond. He'd learned early that she never wanted her questions actually answered. 'Under her care' indeed, like Kaoru and he were nothing more than small unruly animals she was house-sitting. He wouldn't have trusted Yumi with a rock for a pet. He had never considered any of Yumi's actions anything less then manipulation and torture._

"_Let me get right to the point Aoshi, keeping Kaoru around has became rather cumbersome."_

_For a moment Aoshi felt himself grow still. It seemed unreal. Could it possibly be…could she really be considering letting them go? It seemed unnatural, preposterous, and ridiculous. But he couldn't stop his heart from starting in his chest, couldn't help the small seed of hope that uncurled within him. He listened to her eat, waited while she took several more large mouthfuls. She used her napkin, and a servant entered as soon as she cleared her throat. The energy of the male was low and servile as he took away the plate and asked in a low tone if she needed anything. Even after all this time the reverence shown to Yumi made him sick. Her response was one of a queen to an ant, she ignored him completely. The man left, and Aoshi waited for her to continue. She didn't disappoint._

"_I'm going to start siphoning magic from her I think, as a sort of payment." _

_The stillness he had felt before grew to iron cold resolve. That he had ever thought she would set them free was laughable. He wouldn't be able to pry them away until Yumi was in the ground. And this was too much, this was too far. The stupid bitch had everything, and still she wanted more. He'd heard of magic tapping before and knew that it was both painful and dangerous for the victim. It left scars, mental and physical, and caused individuals on more then one occasion to die from complications. Hell, he'd seen several corpses after Yumi had finished with them. Drained, they looked like dried out husks. His sister, who had already been through so much, would be dead after only a few sessions with Yumi. And the slut had to know that._

"_No."_

_She would have to crawl over his dead body. _

_He heard Yumi purse her lips and waited for what she'd say next. _

"_Well," he could hear the smile in her voice, "Are you volunteering to take her place?"_

Aoshi had done the only thing he could. He had agreed to do it. There had not been an option. And he'd known that it had been Yumi's plan from the beginning. Usually no one was insane enough to do it for more than a couple of days in a row. But Yumi had said she needed a little 'pick me up' before the fair, and he would be used daily until further notice. He hadn't argued.

"Well," Yumi spoke firmly, "In two days there is going to be rather large court gathering. Kaoru will be there, please make the arrangements."

_What for?_ He wanted to ask. Aoshi felt Yumi turn her back to him, and he listened to her pick up one of her instruments. It made a noise similar to a harp, but the tone made his head ache and his body tremble. He took back his earlier thought on its music, the instrument sounded like people wailing.

He didn't want to know what all of her objects did, let alone the one she was working with now, so he and turned on his heel and walked out of the room. If the bitch wanted to talk more, let her chase him down the hall. He pushed away the slight dizziness that always followed a session. The cool hallway was an immediate relief from Yumi's presence, the heavy stone walls helping to shut away the stench that drenched her. Aoshi let the door close without looking back, and ignored Yumi's trailing laughter.

He needed to dash back to his quarters and shower and then check in on Kaoru. She was still under the lingering effects of the spell he had cast yesterday, and he wanted to bring her fully out of it. She was an emotional wreck from Himura though, and he had to be careful with how he treated her. He'd left Kaoru curled up on her bed the day before, but only after prying her fingers from his tear streaked shirt. Her energy had flickered dismally, and the last part of what was left of his sister had curled up and died. Aoshi had already decided that whenever he was away she would stay in her quarters. He would nip this Himura situation before it grew, and Kaoru would never have to deal with him again.

Hell, he was looking forward to it. It had been awhile since anyone had been foolish enough to mess with Kaoru. Aoshi would enjoy putting Himura in his place.

He ran a hand over his sightless eyes and moved into a rarely used passageway. Although no one ever paid him any attention, he still didn't want anyone to see the dark wet marks that showed through the shirt. They were a sign of weakness. They were a reminder that he was a tool. Someone might see the marks and make a move against Kaoru thinking him frail. And if a person knowledgeable in magic viewed them, they would know that he had been worn down. The magical sickness he couldn't mask. The longer Yumi continued with her actions, the more magically maimed he was left.

The physical slashes too were healing poorly, and it was making things much more difficult. He was forced to fix them as quickly as possible, and his back was riddled with rough scars strained from improper mending. He was no healer, and his muscles protested each time he pieced together a sketchy spell.

His room only a few doors away, Aoshi paused as a person entered the hallway behind him. Their power vibrated energetically in his ears, a light bright noise that seemed in direct contrast to his state of mind. It was unquestionably female, and he was unsure what to make of it. There was no malice he could find in her aura, no streak of cruelty or hostility. He breathed in, and the clarity she emitted ended the lingering headache that being with Yumi always produced. He listened to her half skipping movement and kept on determinedly at his own pace. Let her pass him, an unnoticed guard that was just minding his own business.

Who was she? She had to be someone who was visiting for the fair, her signature was new and unfamiliar. Aoshi was familiar those that lived in the castle, recognized individuals that came often. She was among neither. He wasn't sure how she had managed to get herself into this wing of the castle, but he hoped she would leave him be.

"Excuse me?"

Her voice was fluffy, sweet like the sugar treats his sister had loved when younger and much closer than he thought. He turned himself in her direction. If he didn't know any better he would say she was an assassin. But there wasn't anything he could sense in her that was more than curiosity. There was an edge to her that he could feel was sharper than what she was showing, but it wasn't tinged with wickedness. And he had to admit to himself that he was intrigued. It had been years since anyone had spoken to him directly. Aoshi was Kaoru's shadow, and he always faded into the background. People were afraid of him, people hated him, people did not say 'excuse me' to him.

"Um, I was wondering if you could help me with directions?"

Only a few feet away from him, he started at just how short she was. She was even smaller than his sister.

"Well I was sort of wandering and then I somehow-"

Although a little squeaky, her voice was so pleasant, so… happy, that it seemed unnatural. The nobles in Yumi's kingdom, even the servants, were so caught up in themselves. Every word and gesture was filled with hate, jealousy, fear, and ulterior motives. And his sister's voice was a distant memory, a child's voice that had faded with the years until only the skeletal remains were left. Even he could no longer claim that-

"Hey…is your back okay?"

Her sudden words cut through his musings. Aoshi felt her hand stretch out toward him, and stepped out of her reach. He had let himself trail off, and she had noticed.

"It's fine."

He made the words brisk and cold. Hopefully she would get the hint and leave. Instead she moved toward him again, and Aoshi found himself backing up farther. He didn't like how she made him feel. A lit match in the dead of winter reminded those that were already frozen what it was like to feel warm. And she blazed like the sun.

"It looks really bad. Do you need to see a healer?"

Her words solidified his belief that she was visiting. Yumi didn't have any healers in her lands. No one here would have even suggested going to one for medical treatment. And even if Yumi did, he would rather slice off his own ear then put himself into the care of anyone working for that bitch.

"I have a couple of healing magics my friend bottled for me, do you need one?"

She seemed to read his mind.

Her words were purely helpful, but he was instantly worried. Even if the idea was tempting, who knew if her intentions were good? Maybe she was a pure person being used by someone cruel. It had happened before, and Aoshi knew how easy the innocent were manipulated. Knew from personal experience. She could give away something about him without even knowing.

"No."

He kept his voice level and waited for her to skitter away. When she didn't he started to walk briskly, hoping the woman would get the hint and leave him alone. If he went directly to his quarters he could be with Kaoru by late morning. The dizziness he had thought was past surged forward again, and paired with the darkness he saw, Aoshi felt his equilibrium tilt.

He hadn't had this strong of a reaction before, and took a moment to try and re-orient himself. Usually the dizziness past quickly, lasting only a few minutes. Another wave hit him, accompanied with a twist from his stomach, and Aoshi spotted white splotches in his otherwise black vision.

"Are you alright?"

The woman's voice seemed as if it was traveling from the end of a long hallway. He shook his head, but that made the lightheaded feeling only spread. His hand came up to wipe the new sweat that had accumulated on his forehead and he tried to calm his now shallow breathing. From a distance he realized that what he was experiencing was very very bad. He swayed and put up an arm to brace himself on the stone wall.

Aoshi did not get sick. He had been injured protecting his sister less then the amount of fingers on one hand. A fever he hadn't suffered from since he was seven. He was determined that this was nothing, and in a few seconds he would shake it off and be fine. He didn't have time to be ill.

His knees went weak, and he started sliding toward the floor despite his best efforts to stay standing. Cool hands steadied him as he dropped, and with his last conscious thought he wondered how she was so strong despite her size.

* * *

Kaoru uncurled out of the ball she was in and attempted to pull herself from the emotional stupor that swamped her. She'd awoken several moments earlier and had lain there wondering why she was still in bed at such a late hour. The sunlight from the windows hadn't stirred Kaoru, no maids had pestered her out of sleep, and even her brother hadn't checked in on her. She felt exhausted, weak, and very uncertain as to why she was in such a state. Her throat was tight, her body was stiff, and her eyes were dry and swollen. Cotton seemed to be stuffed between her ears, and as it slowly parted, she realized that something just wasn't right.

Her mind shied away from the memories just out of her reach, and she wrestled with herself. Something inside of her whispered that she did not want to know, that remembering was a bad idea. She sat up wearily, her arms shaking with the effort to right her body. As Kaoru did so, she glanced down and stilled at the sight of herself. She looked a mess. The black nightgown was bunched and wrinkled as if she tossed and turned all night. The ribbons at her neck were untied, showing off her neck and the beginning curves of her breasts. Her loose hair hung over her shoulders, messy and unbraided. She knew without a mirror that she was a total disaster. What had she been thinking?

The thought made her start, and her hands unintentionally clenched the loose blankets she was still halfway wrapped up in. Something wasn't clicking in her head. She shook it as if trying to push out the confusion, and tears gathered at the corners of her eyes. Although her mind was struggling, it seemed as if her body had already figured everything out.

She fought her way free from the tangled blankets, and pulled herself to the edge of the bed. Her feet, still covered in stockings, hung loosely, and she pushed back at the hair falling in her eyes. A muffled noise sounded in her room and she looked around in an effort to see what was creating it. With natural sunlight filling the space, the sound seemed to be coming from nowhere. Still trying to piece together what had happened she pushed herself off the bed, and jumped when the sound happened again.

Realizing where it had originated from, she started toward the door, sure her brother was waiting in his usual spot. Maybe he would have some idea why she was so befuddled. She suddenly wanted Aoshi by her side, wanted him to wrap his arms around her and tell her that everything would be okay. Rubbing at her temple, she ignored the cold of the door handle and pulled open the heavy door. Her weak arm protested, and she had to use both to wrench it wide.

The eyes that stared at her were clear amber and cut right to the heart of her. Red hair spilled over them, and she was suddenly overwhelmed. It wasn't Aoshi that was waiting for her, but the man she had seen in the library. The man whose smile was kind, and whose reading tastes were eerily similar to her own. The man who she saw yesterday, standing with… The remaining cobwebs cleared from her mind, and Kaoru clearly saw the knowing look on his face. He looked resolute, furious, and ready to act. She stumbled back, bringing the door closed as quickly as she could. Kaoru had to shut the door.

He didn't seem surprised by her actions, and shoved his foot forward so that the door couldn't close. Her eyes glanced down and then back up into his face. Who knew what he was going to do her? And where was Aoshi? Where had he gone? She stumbled backwards, tripping over her own feet as she did so. She needed Aoshi. He followed after her, closing the door behind him and locking it. Her heart jerked erratically and she fled backwards and around to the far side of her unmade bed. Where was Aoshi? He followed unhurriedly, taking in her room with one all encompassing glance.

"Take slower deeper breaths or you'll get dizzy."

His voice was low and soothing, but an order nonetheless. She paused, not even noticing that her breathing had gotten to be such a mess. She was embarrassed. Overwhelmingly humiliated at her previous actions. Ashamed of her feelings that even now bubbled just beneath the surface. And she still wished that her brother was there to shield her.

As Kaoru retreated farther, placing herself into a cold corner, his face softened at the visible fear.

"I'm not going to hurt you." He took smaller steps and raised his hands in a calming motion, "I would never hurt you."

He seemed almost appalled at the very notion of harming her. He grew closer and closer and her arms fluttered up in an attempt to protect herself. Her eyes shut on reflex, squeezing so tight that they hurt, and she stooped down into a crouched position.

Aoshi was going to be so mad. She'd opened the door, let him in- and now he was going to kill her.

A lightness touched the top of her head, and Kaoru jumped at the contact. The hand trailed over her messed up hair and onto her half hidden face. It felt warm and calming and she sunk fully to the floor. What was going on? Why did her heart hurt so much?

"Please excuse me." His voice was close. She could feel his breath ghost along her cheek and ear. It shivered down her neck and onto her back. "I didn't mean to upset you. I didn't mean to scare you."

He took in a deep breath, almost as if he was trying to inhale her, and she risked opening her eyes. The lids fought her at first, determined to stay closed, but after a brief struggle she managed to pry them open. Between her arms she observed him. He was kneeling next to her, so close she could see the individual strands of his hair. The sun made it glow, and Kaoru resisted the urge to reach out and touch it. If he was going to kill her, he was sure taking his time about it.

His hands gently encased her wrists, and she didn't fight him when he lowered them. He encircled them both with one hand, then used his free one to turn her face his direction. With only a few gestures Kaoru was trapped. Her chest rose and fell rapidly, and in her contorted position her lungs struggled to take in oxygen. She felt fear, but mixed with the terror was another emotion that she couldn't identify. It made everything much more muddled and painful, it made her ache.

"My name is Kenshin Himura, and I-" he paused as if trying to formulate his words, "-I really would like to know your name my lady."

The last bit was said almost sheepishly, his gaze tracing the line of her jaw and the tightness of her mouth as he did so. Her mouth opened reflexively, and she let out a wheezy breath. Her voice choked in her throat, tripping and stopping at Yumi's magic so that there was nothing left to exit. Her mouth clicked shut. She'd tried to speak. Kaoru hadn't made such an attempt in years, not since she was very young. Days when she would lie on her bed and try to scream or cry out were long past her. She felt a blush spread from her cheeks down to her neck and over her chest. She felt idiotic and utterly foolish. Kaoru tried to turn her face away from him, but his hand stopped her.

"Oh." Kenshin's gaze jerked from her mouth to the dark grooves on her neck. His face suddenly became furious. He kept his eyes there only a moment, flickering over the disfiguring marks. By the time he looked back up at her, he'd banished the anger and was once again calm and in control.

"My apologies, I know that you are unable to speak. I was being thoughtless."

Kenshin stood, using his easy strength to bring her up to her feet. Kaoru remained next to him, not quite sure what he was planning. The thick fabric of his shirt brushed against her wrists and she was startled by their closeness. Kaoru knew she should be struggling, she wasn't used to touch. But his hands didn't make her want to run away, they made her feel warm and… uncomfortable. She wasn't sure if she wanted Aoshi to come anymore or not. He didn't seem to want to hurt her. He was…nice.

"Deep breaths, remember?"

She nodded slightly at his words, and obediently fought her stampeding heart. He stood still next to her while she fought her own body, forcing herself to take deep steady breaths. Although not watching him directly, she could feel his eyes one her, carefully monitoring her attempt. The thumb on his hand encasing her wrist stroked soothingly over her pulse. After several minutes her body calmed enough that she didn't feel like she'd been running for hours.

Kenshin took a step toward her vanity, his hand still holding both of her own, and Kaoru followed meekly. She tripped over the long hem of her nightgown, and stumbled forward into him. His free arm wrapped around her, pulling her securely into the confinement of his arms. Pressed against him, one arm wrapped low around waist, her legs tangled in his own, hands trapped against his chest, she was completely draped over him.

The fabric of her nightgown seemed light now, nearly transparent. She felt vulnerable as if she wore no clothing at all. Kaoru was painfully aware that beneath the dress she wore nothing. His entire body was like a furnace, heat rolling off of him in thick waves. She wanted to wrap her arms around him and snuggle against the curve of his neck. He shifted his weight, and Kaoru could feel his muscular thighs flex against her own. Her mouth felt dry, her cheeks hot, and her chest moved against his own as she tried to take deeper slower breaths. When had she lost her breath again? He watched her with an intensity that made the blush on her face darken and spread.

Kenshin steadied her before stepping back, and she wanted to pull him back to her. She stood watching him as he pushed her hair back over her shoulder. He carefully moved the messy tangles, letting his fingers slide through the locks as he rearranged. His eyes trailed down her form before traveling back up and focusing on her face. Without moving his gaze, his hands came up and he began to refasten the ribbon. Looking down quickly, she gawked at her own state. How had she forgotten? Untied the dress gaped and showed off an inappropriate portion of her chest. He kept his eyes respectfully away from her, but she felt his fingers and the back of his hands brush against her breasts as he tied. Heat uncurled low in her stomach, and she suddenly felt tight and immoral. She wanted to step forward and feel the press of his hand more firmly. And that thought made her feel appalling shocked. Just what was wrong with her? He finished quickly with a small neat bow.

Abruptly she found herself come fully to her senses. A man was in her sleeping chamber, unaccompanied, _and_ she was in a state of undress. She took a step back, hands coming to rest protectively over her chest. Even if she was nothing more than a freak to everyone, even if only moments ago she'd wanted him to touch her, she still had standards. She grabbed at a large shawl on the edge of her bed and wrapped it around her shoulders. Heavy and wool, it instantly made her feel much safer. Kenshin eyed the shawl, but said nothing of it.

Instead, he reached into a heavy leather pouch on his belt. Wearing casual clothes again today, the rough blue of his tunic contrasted with the dark leather of his boots and belt. He pulled out a leather-bound journal, well worn with use and age.

"It's a bit old, is that alright my lady?"

As he held the journal out to her and tugged out a matching quill, she slumped into her vanity chair in amazement. Any sort of writing device or tool was forbidden for her. Giving her one was grounds for Yumi to issue an execution. It had been infuriating when she was younger. She had been able to read and read, but wasn't allowed to practice her letters at all. And now he was offering her the chance as if he were afraid of disappointing her. It felt like a dream, and any moment now he would pull it away- and this would turn into a nightmare.

Seeing her hesitancy, Kenshin moved closer, nearly pushing it into her hands.

She reached out for the journal, her hands visibly shaking. It was warm, and she brought it up to her face. Smelling like old paper and ink, she breathed in deeply and let the scent fill her up. It was well worn, with time and with constant use. However, it was obviously treated well. Opening it, she encountered small script writing. Scrunching her face, Kaoru focused her eyes and began to read the words.

A few lines in and she realized that she was reading the private thoughts of Kenshin. She jerked the book closed and chanced a look at him. With one eyebrow raised, he crossed his arms and gave her a chiding look. Her heart skipped a beat. It lasted for only a moment before a smile spread.

"Sorry, I would have brought you an empty one, but I don't have one with me."

He handed the quill to her as well as he crouched down next to her. Kenshin reached forward and opened the book again on her lap, flipping it forward to an empty page. Now at a slightly lower height than her, she watched him fiddle with the pages, and a small smile tugged at her lips. It felt unnatural on her face.

"The quill doesn't need any ink- it's spelled."

She stared blankly at the writing instrument for a moment, having never seen something spelled for such a practical reason.

"It won't harm you." His tone was teasing, "Please my lady, might I know your name?"

She put the quill to paper, unsure of how to make it work. Drawing a wide loop, she was amazed at the dark mark that appeared. Pleasantly surprised, she looked back up at Kenshin. The expression on his face was one of gladness at her unexpected pleasure in something so simple. She felt light at the new discovery, the dark shades that made up her life turning to something a bit brighter for a moment. Bringing her focus back to the journal, Kaoru's fear spiked. Her breath started to feel shallow once more. Kaoru was going to have to go and ruin everything; she'd wrecked it from the start. She did the only thing she could think of, and her heart had nearly wrung itself out by the time she finished.

In large script that was similar to chicken scratch she scrawled '_Lady of Loss.'_

Kaoru's anxiety grew. Her scribble couldn't even be called handwriting. It looked like a child had written it. And she just knew that now he would decipher what she had attempted to write and run away. No one would willingly stay near such a gross anomaly. And she supposed that somewhere deep inside her she wanted him to go. If Kenshin left there wasn't any way he could harm her emotionally. Unintentionally he had already inflicted damage on her. Kaoru knew that she just wasn't strong enough to take this sort of relationship. One built on lies and deception. And no one could possibly love her when they knew the truth. No one but Aoshi, and he was family.

Staring blankly down at the words she had just written, she fought back the sudden urge to cry. Everything had gotten so frustrating. Coming out of her stupor she watched Kenshin's hand engulf her own. He leaned in close to her, so near that his hair tickled her forehead and his mouth brushed against her ear as he talked.

"No beloved, not that name." his voice was whisper soft and she shook at his use of an endearment. "Your birth name, your true name."

Her throat worked unconsciously, and his free hand came up to rest on her shoulder. It stroked down her back gently, staying in place even as he moved back enough to give her room. Kaoru shut her eyes and took an unsteady breath. Her insides had turned to liquid.

Opening them, she quickly wrote out _Kaoru Kamiya_ before she could change her mind. The writing was even worse than earlier, barely interpretable by her own standards. Her hand unintentionally came forward to cover it. Kaoru didn't want him to read it, her actions were those of a woman shaken and dazed. She regretted writing it already. Kenshin's free hand came up and rested on hers, and the warmth of it spread throughout her arm. At the same time the hand on her back began a slow rub and she resisted the urge to sink back into the embrace.

"Please."

The word, spoken softly, wrapped itself around her and she was powerless to stop him when he gently picked her hand up in his.

She watched him glance down at the writing, his lips moving silently as he said the words to himself. Not even having a moment to take a breath, she was suddenly enveloped in his arms, pulled off her chair and into his chest.

Kaoru was too shocked to protest. Sprawled out on top of him, one of his arms secured her at the waist, while the other rested gently at the back of her neck. He pulled her in close, this time resting her cheek against his own.

"Kaoru."

Her emotions pooled at the intimate way he murmured her name. Her arms, resting between them, worked their way up and around his neck. She knew it was improper, and she should be appalled at the way he took advantage of her. Instead she felt safe and tugged herself closer. He murmured her name again and again in her ears and she wasn't immediately aware when tears started running down her face. She hadn't thought that someone accepting her would be so emotional. But Kenshin not only recognized her magic, he acknowledged that she was something beyond the magic. She had a name, she was a person- and she deserved to be treated like one.

She didn't know how long she silently cried against his frame, but she did understand that today's tears were much different than yesterday's. Today she felt relieved, uplifted, accepted. It was invigorating. Eventually she noticed that Kenshin was no longer simply whispering her name. Between his words he was kissing her. Her forehead. Her cheekbones. Her nose. Her eyelids.

It was personal. She'd never been kissed by anyone outside of family, and it had been years since even that had happened. It was nice. It was sweet. Intimate. But she wasn't scared. She felt cherished. He wasn't pushing her for anything, wasn't asking her to do something she was uncomfortable doing. When he eventually stopped his ministrations, she couldn't deny that she was inexplicably calm. He held her loosely, supported her against his shoulder.

Being with him simply felt right.

"I want to help you beloved." He spoke quietly, but with determination.

His words tugged at her, but it was no use. Kenshin couldn't help her. No one could help her. Even though he acknowledged her, he would leave too. And she wasn't sure how she would be able to go back to having nothing, to being nothing. She would die. He must have seen the look on her face.

"Please Kaoru. Please just listen." He pulled her close so they were nose to nose. His eyes were dark and determined. "Trust me."

* * *

Next time: Kaoru and Kenshin talk, well…Kenshin talks and Kaoru listens. Aoshi wakes up to the craziness that is Misao. 


End file.
